The Story Book

harringrove: you might think you're broken but my love will fix you

Tags: angst, heartbreak, cutting

Fandom: Stranger Things

Ship: Billy/Steve

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"Bullshit."

That word echoed in his mind like a gun shot in an empty school. It rang in his head over and over and over, like a broke record that wouldn't let his mind rest. He was bullshit and nothing about him was real, not even his girlfriend.

After fixing Hawkins and watching Nancy and Johnathan get together, he realized how not okay he was. Billy was still his assholey self in the regards that he called Steve such unholy names, saying if Nancy left then he was looking for a new master to run him like a dog, but that's not what he was...right?

He was his own person, he had his own brain and lived his own life, right?

He wasn't so sure anymore. He...was lonely. I mean, Lucas had Max and now Mike and El got together. Where did that leave him? Yeah, no one, that's who he was. The squad mom. Yeah, he'd heard how the other teens thought he was werid because he hung out with the middle schoolers. All he wanted to do for them was protect them, he wanted to make them safe after everything. They were his to care for.

So what if they call him squad mom? If they were okay then that was enough for him, even if Billy... No, Steve would NOT go down that road. Billy was a crude, selfish, cruel man and Steve wanted nothing to do with him.

After they got back out of the upside down, Billy changed towards the party but not towards Steve. If anything, he got worse. He slammed him up against his locker when no one was in the halls and just stared like...nope, nope, nope!! Steve wasn't going there, no sir, not happening, never in a billion years.

When billy showed up at school with a shaved head, Steve lost it. Billy was so handsome that Steve melted into a horny puddle on the school floor. Striking blue eyes looked at him and almost...smiled?

He was confused and sad and he wanted this all to stop. He wanted the pain to stop, so he did what he thought would help.

He grabbed his razor and started cutting lines up and down his arm, like a beautiful picture was trying to break away from his skin in the form of red drops dripping slowly down his arm. He felt, for the first time in months, at peace.

When he closed his eyes he could see El looking at him, but she was with Hopper, right? She walked over and cradled his head in her lap and sang him a song

"These battle scars don't look like they're fading, don't look like they'll ever go away. They ain't never gonna change. These battle scars."

Surprisingly to him, he felt soothed by something so dark, letting himself slip into the welcoming darkness that was unconsciousness.

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"What are we going to do, Hop? He can't be trusted, not like this! He's hurting himself, and for what? Nancy? So not worth it!"

"Hey!"

"It's true, he's way too good for you. He's sweet and kind and all you did was cheat on him like a fucking whore."

"Language, Mike."

"What is a whore?"

Steve chose that moment to laugh and look up at El.

"Nothing, baby girl. Mike shouldn't teach you those words." He turned to glare at the sheepish fourteen year old.

"Sorry, Steve." Steve shook his head, indicating that all was fine.