My Love, Simon Entry

Letter

Dear World,

I wish I could give you some poignant, original turn of words that could communicate my person and beliefs in a way more elegant than this, but after all I am young and foolhardy and reasonably unhindered by my lack of literary intelligence, so this is all I have.

The only thing I deem prominent enough to tell about me is that I'm nothing special.

Years of school and experience have whittled me away, turning me from the love of sunshine and Wordsworth to that of late nights and Christina Rossetti.

I wish I had some positive spin on this, but I just haven't developed one yet. I suppose I could if I wanted, but this thing is supposed to about me. Not what I've coerced my comparatively feeble brain into believing. (But who's to tell what is the truth, in these rather iniquitous circumstances?)

I suppose I want to tell the world that I am not as easy to become closed to as some others. I will push you away if you begin to get too close. Still, I do not count this as a flaw. however, That doesn't mean that I won't talk to you if you approach me, though, rather the opposite actually. I'll gladly socialize with almost anyone, but if you offend me I will be as quick at ending the conversation as you were in starting it.

This is not your fault though. If you have an opinion that I think wrong, I don't want to socialize with you, and you just find someone else to talk to. Simple as that.

But my point as an existing collection of matter is not just the lack of proficient socialization.

No, (rather hypocritically) I posses many opinions of my own, which I will willingly tell others about.

The most prominent of these opinions is that you should not ask me to smile, for doing that is my choice, and thus has never, will never be yours.

I have begun to feel that smiling is for everyone else, and is no longer for myself. But this conclusion may just be the emotional chaos of the teenager mindset speaking.

So, at lack of poetics and bubble-gum flavored "I deserve this, I deserve that"s, I will speak of why I remain as a member of those humans who exist.

I live because of music. Halsey, Beethoven, and billie holiday are all the voices that brought my through hard times, and I hope I can keep going through times with them as my soundtrack.

I remain here because I like the way that snow tastes on an empty stomach, and hope to know that again.

I am alive because I want to find that feeling of looking into her eyes again. I want to experience the way my heart shivered at the brush of her hand again, and I want to live, and go out, as unchanged and socially dissonant as I have been.

Love, @blue-astronaut