Wanderer

6 - Silence is Louder

Elwing

Silence is so much louder and so much more eloquent than words.

To an outsider –which is almost everyone – Alaytar’s silence is a sign of mystery, a hint that he knows more than he’s saying. It detaches him instantly from the rest of society, giving him an ethereal reputation. And it makes anything he says all the more valuable.

To someone who knows Alaytar, his silence is really just a mask that hides his pain. When he doesn’t speak, it’s because he can’t, because his late wife Kassandra is on his mind. Without that silence, his pain would spill out into his words or into his voice. So he’s learned to keep quiet and let his emotions roil while never letting them reach his face.

Will Jade ever know her father was once known to all as Alaytar Lalaith – Alaytar the Laughing?

Ëarendil’s silence speaks of love to me. He’s only really quiet when words wouldn’t do the moment justice. That’s how I used to know it. Last night, he didn’t say anything, and his silence took on a new name: indecision. Longing to be home and to be abroad were vying for the top spot in his heart last night. Not wanting to let one win and let one lose, he just kept quiet.

 I was silent, too, this morning when he kissed me goodbye. I didn’t know what to say, and was afraid I couldn’t say it without breaking down.

Now the house is just as silent. Frond is outside on the beach and Elrond is reading.

I woke up this morning for good with a spinning head and an unsettled stomach. When I threw up this morning, it confirmed what I’d suspected for three months now. The first two months, I thought nothing of it. Last month I was hopeful. Now I’m certain.

 I feel like sending a messenger to the Capitol for Ëarendil with the news, but silence is louder than that. Sooner or later, he’ll be back and I can tell him myself. Or better yet, his hands will find my stomach and my silence will be preserved to the end.

The quiet is deafening as I continue with my day.