"You got dat gawd damned grill goin' yet, Randy?"
Smoke poured out of the vents as Randy turned around, his face filled with soot. He gave a thumbs up.
"Good. I want to cook dat bear on the spit roast!" Cletus said, giving the captured bear a stink eye.
Rocky groaned.
"But first comes the appetizer, like dem fancy restaurants!"
Cletus pulled out a few squirrels and rushed towards the grill.
"You don't think that the bear girl is coming back?"
Cletus sighed forcefully.
"Quit worrying about some native and start smoking these damn squirrels!"
He shoved the carcasses into Randy's awaiting palms before storming back into the trailer.
"So how's the grill-athon goin'?" Floyd asked.
"Randy's still worried about Miss Greenpeace."
"Pfft. I dun shots her in the arm. She probably dead in the woods."
Cletus laughed as he slapped Floyd's back.
"Whelp, we'll celebrate then!"
Cletus walked to the fridge and pulled out a can of Budweiser.
"Damn commies keeping me from my beer..." He mumbled as he closed the fridge.
He cracked open the beer and immediately started chugging it.
"I think I got dat little Doku stick goin', cause now we's gots Fox here."
Cletus threw the can away and ran towards the couch.
"Is Vanity on yet?"
"I don't know."
Floyd checked the listings.
"It comes awn at 3 PM in the States.
"Damn Commieland has to be 12 hours behind. If Vanity comes on at 3 PM, then..."
Floyd pulled out his phone.
"I dun thinks you's has to stay up until 3 AM to watch it."
Cletus sighed.
"Can you record it?"
Floyd fumbled with the control.
"Uhh...there's previous shows."
"Good. Put it awn!"
Floyd pressed play on one of the videos. After the 50-second title card passed, the camera zoomed onto a smug man.
Welcome back to Vannity, your number one source of the truth. I'm joined here with a special guest, Mr. Felix Dones, host of online podcast Fact Battle. Thanks for being on the show, Mr. Dones.
The pleasure is all mine.
Now, you've heard of how Russia may be meddling in our doughnut industry.
Absolutely.
So, what do you think of it?
I think that they are evil people who intend on bringing the American system down.
"Damn straight!" Cletus yelled.
YOU ARE READING
Comrad: An Ellsworld Fanfic
FanfictionAfter the betrayal, Tori felt defeated. She thought the three gals were celebrating their victory over evil, that they just tossed her aside. It was quite the opposite, however, as Ell, Tamara, and Matilda yearned for answers as to why their former...
