Before We Surrender. (A Poetry Book)

"THE GIRL YOU BROKE"

Are you even aware that the day you came into my life, I'm in the state of having nothing but myself.

Yeah, literally NOTHING but myself.

There's a lot of people taken me for granted, made me one of their options, their last priority, their friend when they need me, and a stranger when I badly need em'.

I'm confident with you because I thought you'll stay.

You'll be different from them, I thought everything will be perfect. 

Because everytime that I'm with you, there's always nothing I could ask for.

I suddenly forgot those people who stabbed me in the back and then asked me why do I bleed, whenever you're by my side.

I suddenly forgot how cruel the world is and how unfair it is. Everything became so magical because of you.

All the long hand written love letters are all worth it. Our midnight calls and late night chit chats are so unforgettable.

All those sweet little things is very appreciated.

I love being with you all the time, cause when I'm with you I can be just me, without pretensions and covering or filtering.

You're like a star that gives light on the darkest part of my life, you're like a fire burning the ice covered around my heart, you're like a key into my locked happiness.

You made me feel that being with you is the only way for me to forget the rotation of the earth, we stay here together while the rest of the world is revolving.

The way you look into my eyes it's like you want to be with me for the rest of our lives.

The way you pat my head, it's like the sweetest thing in the world. And your hands, your hands... I know there's 9 billion pairs of hand in the world, but yours is the only one that fits in mine perfectly.

But you told me to just go with the flow, at first I dunno what you mean.

But the day after you left,
I understand.

Now I understand why you always tell me that "People will come and go."

So that's it.

You come, and you go.

I can't help but to get confused. Why do you have to come when you're going to leave sooner or later.

I can't understand.

Why is it have to be this complicated?

I just want you to stay, that's it. But what happened?

After being the reason why I smile you're going to be reason why I'm  going to cry?

Because honestly I want to cry out in pain now.

I want to ask you so many questions that's keep on repeating on my mind, it's like a broken stereo.

Until one day...

I saw you with her.

The one you really love for the rest of your life.

If only you can see the pain that's written in my eyes, if only you can feel how much it hurts.

How can you be this impossible?

One day I was your world, and then the second I was nothing.

It hurts because I got attached more than I could possibly thought.

I loved you more than you even know.

It hurts more than a stab wounds.

for the last time I became someone's temporarily joy. Not permanently.

Maybe I should get used to it from now on.

It's really true.

That people will come and go, that nobody chooses to stay unless you beg for it.

And I don't have the guts for that kind of thing anymore.

I will just accept.
I will be fine.
I will forget.
And I will move on.

Someday I'm going to be someone's choice, and not one of their options.

And that person is not you,
because you will never be.

I want you to know that I'm fine without you.

I'm fine...

I will be...

because I have to...