When He Left.

beginning

Once I get off my bus I go to my first PD, honors 12th-grade lit. I'm always there first because I have nowhere else to go. I completed the homework I didn't do last night because I had to take care of my younger siblings. Every time my brother asks me where dad is I have to lie and say that he's out "working". Although I know that he is out getting drunk. My parents don't know but they are the reason why I don't believe in love; not since I found out the truth. I lay my head on my desk and think about last night. I wonder why didn't I do it. I had the blade in my hand, why didn't I cut, maybe it was for my siblings. They're so young. Only in elementary school and already recognize me as the only family they have ever known.

This is my last year in high school. I'm not sure how I made it this far. I thought I would be gone by my 2nd or 3rd year in this crappy school. but yet I'm here, walking the hallways looking at all the fake smiles and hearing all the fake laughs. I just want something real in my life. something I can hold onto when I'm feeling lonely or sad. I want to look at the stars with a partner, someone that that can look at me and know that I'm not okay. I want him. except I know that's only a fantasy and only happens in happy love stories and this is not one of those stories. So if you believe in love, then this book was not made for you. If you are thinking this is a love story, then you are wrong, love doesn't exist for me; love isn't real. At least not for me. it never has been. There was a time in my life when I thought I felt love when I thought I wanted it, but I was wrong. It was all a mistake. He was a mistake. And It was the biggest mistake of my life.

I walk through the hallways pretending I'm okay. He smiles at me again. I give him a faint smile to reassure him that I'm okay. I'm not okay though, I know I'm not showing my feelings but I just want someone to find me. To reach out to me. My name is Arlette Perez. And this is my story.

(( I don't know who would read this but if you end up reading this just know that this book means a lot to me because I am putting all my efforts into this book. I hope you like it.))