Utopia X

Stop. He looked at me with those dead cold eyes. Stop it... Breathing... He was not breathing.

Stop. Three points forming an inverted triangle appeared on his forehead.

Stop it! The expression of death on his face was giving me excruciating pain in the chest. Please! Someone! Stop his pain! Then, suddenly... I woke up.

                Ever since I turned 18, two weeks ago, I’ve had the same nightmare. The same nightmare that wakes me up at night, breathless and trembling.

Dreams stopped existing in my sleep. Only that haunting event repeated over and over again. That boy. I don’t even know him. Or do I? He looked familiar but I have no idea who he is?

What’s the meaning behind all of this? Why is it that every time I try to put the pieces together, a headache takes over my head?

Like, right now...

                To ignore all these questions, I live my normal life. Eat breakfast; go to school, do homework and go to sleep. It’s the only way I can go from one day to the other or I’m going to go crazy.

If you call someone normal with Straight A’s (without trying hard at all), President of the Student Council (which I don’t remember running for), Ms. Popular and the favourite person of the entire city (as in the “WHOLE CITY”), I guess, I’m normal, right? Another question that keeps haunting me with my so called living a “normal life”.

Everything seems right but then again feels so wrong. The only thing that feels right is Kazuma Shuunji. The guy that hates me.

                He’d always look at me, like he’s mocking me or something. That I look pathetic to him. I don’t even remember doing anything negative towards him. Did I beat him from getting the number one spot at school or robbed everyone’s vote during the Student Council election?

I have this feeling he has the answers to all of my questions. There’s no way to talk to him alone because I have these “Friends” that love to stick with me around campus all day. As I was just thinking about Kazuma, there he was standing in front of my classroom door, blocking my way.

Kazuma suddenly attacked me with his words, the usual harsh comments that I could never understand. “You, everytime we meet, it feels like me...trying...escaping a building full of freaking 214 dead people...”

I interrupted “...Oh please Kazuma. Stop bothering me, OK?” emphasizing the ok part to send him my reply. “You just talk about nonsense all the time and I can’t deal with you anymore.” I said in disgust.

                He sighed and I think I saw a small smile. I guess we had an understanding. He wants me to meet him at BLDG 214 at four o’clock. He turned and looked back for a second. And there it was again.

It was the sad expression in his eyes that he gives everytime he walks away from me. I wish I could stop him from looking at me like a pathetic, useless girl that everyone just can’t stop caring about.

Focus. I reminded myself. I need to come up with an excuse so I could meet him without anyone finding out.

                “What a weirdo!” Yumi exclaimed.

Weirdo, huh? I thought to myself. “You better not talk to that guy alone, ever!” Her eyes were intense, looking for my agreement. “Ok? Setsuna? He’s just a pervert who wants to harass you so stay away from him.” she continued while combing her dark brown, short hair.

Yumi is my best friend. We do everything together at school. She looks out for me everytime. Picks me up at home to school, eat lunch together and walks home with me. She’s a very good friend but somehow I cannot brush off my doubt of her intentions.