Mr Mysterious [boyxboy]

12.

Jasper knows he probably shouldn’t have said that because no matter what he feels, the fact remains that Ty has a boyfriend. Still he can’t bring himself to respect that knowing what he does about their relationship.

“I’m not going back,” Ty reassures him, “but I think I need to speak to Stan.”

Jasper nods, he isn’t about to discourage Ty speaking to his friend about what is going on. He begins walking back to the path. Ty hesitates, but then he follows and the two walk side by side in silence. It’s not that they don’t want to talk or that they have nothing to say, it’s just that they both have too much on their minds to speak.

“Did you walk here?” Ty asks when they reach the car park and he notices Jasper’s car is not there.

“Yeah, I just needed some air, y’know.”

Ty bites his tongue because yes, he does know, but he doesn’t want to think about the fact that he is the reason Jasper needed to get out of his house. He hates to know that he is putting pressure on his shoulders or that he is hurting him in any way. Everything is just so messed up right now that there isn’t really much he can do about it.

“Do you need a lift anywhere?”

Really it is probably best if Jasper just goes home, he has a lot to think about and he should probably just lie down; but he’s not willing to say goodbye to Ty yet. “Since you’re going to see Stan, I might actually. I’d like to see Brooke and Brad.”

They are silent as they drive, but this time the silence between them is tense. Jasper is thinking about what he has found out and he is feeling sick again, sick and like he could kill this guy with his bare hands if only he knew where to find him. Ty has more complicated things on his mind, he doesn’t know where his heart lies anymore, if it is here or there, and he doesn’t know what he is supposed to do about that.

When they pull up outside the school, there is still about half an hour before the bell is due to ring and dismiss the students from their classes. Ty climbs out of the car and walks around the front, leaning himself on the bonnet. He digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out his sunglasses (which he probably should have been wearing while he was driving because of the glare). The air is cold, but the sky is clear and the sun is bright when it catches the right surface. He feels Jasper leaning beside him, but does his best not to look over. What is he supposed to say to him now? Jasper knows everything and there is no going back.

“Do the others know?”

Ty shakes his head, and smiles a little because the notion is a bit ridiculous. “Can you imagine how Brad would react? He’d be thrilled that I’m gay, but he would take a gun to Ben’s head.”

“I would too, given the chance.” Jasper looks seriously over, knowing his comment is cruel, but not caring all that much. Ty should be shown that people want to protect him, that what Ben is doing to him is wrong.

Ty can’t help but feel frustrated by this, because he just explained everything to Jasper to try and help him understand but he obviously can’t comprehend that Ty loves Ben. He doesn’t want anyone trying to tear them apart – if anyone is going to do that, it is going to be Ty himself. “This is a part of my life that I have to sort out on my own.”

“I can’t just sit by and watch this happen to you, Ty. I can’t.”

“I’m not asking you too.” Their eyes meet, and Jasper can tell that Ty is dead serious, “You can walk away right now and I won’t be mad at you. I’m not asking you to stick around for me.”

It's Jaspers turn to smile at how ridiculous what Ty says is. “Whether you’re asking or not, I’m already stuck.”

Ty tries to hide his smile, but Jasper catches a glimpse of it trying to break free, and that makes him happy for just the slightest moment before he fills back up with the sinking feeling and a sickness in his stomach. How can anyone not love that smile? Not want to protect the boy who wears it. How can anyone hurt someone who is so vulnerable. Sure, someone who doesn’t know him may have no idea, but it is his own boyfriend who is putting him through this torture – someone who knows the worst parts of Ty’s and is willing to add to the list of things that keep him up at night. It’s so wrong, yet Ty doesn’t walk away, and that’s even worse.