Tangled Up In Me

Flashbacks

I tossed and turned under my zebra stripe patterned duvet, my flimsy singlet clinging to my skin like glue. I turned to my right and then to my left as well as flipped from my back to my stomach, but nothing was working. Every time I tried to get the refreshing feeling of the other side of the pillow, the beads of sweat escaping down my neck erased any satisfaction. Gross is an understatement.

"Screw this," I said out loud. Untangling myself from my sheets with an agitated huff I wandered over to my bay window, where I plopped down, rather ungracefully, and rested my hands behind my head as I stared out into the night. As I watched the street lights flicker, I tried to think of nothing but a dark room... My doctor said it would help with the insomnia. After ten minutes of being bored out of my skull, I gave up and watched the stars wink back at me. An overwhelming sense of relief passed over me and and as I shivered and the goosebumps rose on my skin I closed my eyes with a smile. I liked to think it was my mom telling me she was ok.

" I miss you, mommy." I whispered to the brightest star I could find. As a tear rolled down my cheek and died at the corner of my mouth, I felt the flashback trying to take over my mind. I tried to take deep breaths like Dr. Reiter practiced with me, however it seemed my worst flashbacks came when I was remembering my mother. I was never able to control them. As I lay frozen with the taste of salty tears in my mouth I was back at the gas station on that cold Sunday night.

* 6 months earlier, the night of the murder*

We were rumbling down the highway in moms Saturn Vue. I was lying in the backseat, resting my eyes since we were headed home from my soccer game and I was just exhausted.

"I'm going to pull off and fill up the tank Ro," my mother called to me. As our eyes met in the rearview mirror I tried to play the whiney teenager role.

"Mommm... can't you just get some tomorrowww...?" I questioned, already knowing the answer. She scolded me with her eyes as I smiled sheepishly.

"You know I don't like to drive around with the gas light on... it's too distracting for me," she said with authority.

'Well that's the end of the discussion then,' I thought to myself as we pulled into pump seven and came to a halt.

Mom tossed me a twenty with a smile and motioned for me to go pay while she got out to begin pumping. I took my time getting out, savoring the smell of the gasoline. My mom gave me a weird look when she saw me sniff the air, she always made fun of the way I loved the smell.

"Get going you little weirdo," she said with a wink. Turning slowly and dragging my feet I headed toward the cashier. It was getting late and I was a little creeped out by the lack of lighting fixtures. Seriously how hard is it to replace some lightbulbs? As I reached for the door I glanced toward the telephone booth. A man with a red cap and black jacket was standing their, he seemed to have the phone up to his ear but wasn't speaking into it. All I noticed was that he was staring at me and then he glanced towards pump seven. The light over the door cast an eerie shadow over him, making his facial features indistinguishable. I had a weird gut feeling as I broke eye contact and walked inside to slide the twenty on the counter.

"Can I get twenty on seven?" I asked the cute boy behind the counter. He was about six foot with a slim but muscular frame. I figured he was my age or maybe a little older. His hair was dark blonde and shaggy, reaching a little below his ears and his bangs fell casually in his eyes. He flicked his head, doing a little hairflip which revealed his emerald green eyes. A warm smile played at his lips and as he nodded his bangs covered his face again but not before I noticed the eyebrow ring. I may be a prude but I'm still a sucker for facial jewerly on men.

For no reason whatsoever, I felt a blush rise to my cheeks as I bashfully looked down at my blue converse.

"You new around here?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.