Dear World,
Hey, it's me. Now, you may not know what me means in this case. Hi, hello, hi it is me. That's what this letter is about, in case you didn't know.
You see there's something that I want to tell you all. I know, not everyone will agree that it's okay, but I feel like I should be true to myself. I'm a male of the age of eighteen. I'm sure you're thinking, "Well why wouldn't I agree with that?". Well you see, a little under a year ago, I was not a man. I was this short bundle of confusion, about five whole feet of it to be exact.
I suppose the term used for people like me would be transgender. Some people view their before differently. I choose to say that that girl no longer exists. She was someone else and I was born of her. No I don't mean she literally gave birth to me, but became me. So here I am, in the flesh.
But what made me decide to transition? Why did it take so long? What are my plans for the future? Those.. can be difficult questions to answer.
To start, I think deep down, a part of me always knew. As a child I wanted to do what the boy's did. I didn't want to prance around in dresses and play with make up, it just wasn't my style. I'm in no way saying that guys can't play with make up and very well be men, things we're just different then.
Into my teenage years I remember being very confused about myself and nothing ever seemed to fit correctly. I was able to put together that I was bisexual, but after that things were a bit blurry. I couldn't really see myself in the future. I had never been jealous of a girl's looks, but damn did I want to look like those male models and actors I saw. That, to say the least, was confusing.
I suppose what took so long was simple, I didn't understand my own feelings and I didn't even know there was another option until I got older. There was an entire world that I didn't know about until my early teens and more so into my late teens. On top of that, when I was trying to figure myself out being transgender was becoming the thing to do. I felt like I'd just be playing into that role and disgracing a beautiful community by coming out as trans. So no, there's no way I'm that. It's impossible! Maybe I'm just genderfluid? Yeah that's right. No wait, no it's not I'm just a girl. Why am I so dumb?
That's what I thought. Now, things are a bit more clear, so I'm thankful for that. As for future plans? Be the best me I can be. It's getting late, so I'll catch you later World. Goodnight.
Love,
Almostnerdyzombie (Eli)
