Dear World,
We all have felt pain in our lives correct? Emotional and physical? If you haven't then you have yet to experience it. For those who have...we do stupid things when we are in pain. We have things we have regretted doing and wished that we had chosen a different way to make the pain go away. Some people turn to cutting. Some people turn to alcohol. Some people turn to drugs. Whatever we chose, we regret it. Those who are cutters feel ugly because of our scars, so we make more. Those who are alcoholics feel free, when really they are trapping themselves. Those who are drug addicts feel happy when high, risk the chance of feeling the complete opposite. For every way to "cope" and escape reality, it's not really a way to cope. The more you do these things the more likely you are to lead to suicide. I have heard so many jokes about suicide. It angers me so much that everyone treats it like a small thing. It's not something small. Sure it's somewhat selfish, but we resorted to it because we felt like there was nothing left for us to live for in this world. So we kept all of our feelings inside and pushed everyone away. It's called depression. We lose interest in doing things we love, we become moody, always tired, forget how to cry, and don't know what a real smile is anymore. I haven't turned to alcohol or drugs. Instead I turned to cutting and fasting. I could have done so many things correctly rather than digging down that hole. I always remember the past because of my scars. For the longest time I would tell myself "No one will ever love me. I'm ugly. I have scars and I'm fat." I ended up becoming an anorexic because I was so desperate to fit in. I kept a smile on my face everyday acting strong while at night I would cry myself to sleep. After a few months of barely skipping meals I started to only eat dinner once a week for 6 months. How am I still alive? No clue honestly. Then people found out and I started eating again. Anorexia and trying to quit cutting was an ongoing battle for me. It would go on and off every few months until I finally started to get help. It was roughly about a few months when I started improving until I went back to cutting. I haven't been anorexic for awhile which is an achievement, and I've been clean for one month. And if your going through depression and you push others away, it will only take you farther down that hole. You have to talk to someone about it otherwise it will devour you making you feel miserable. And if a close friend tells on what you've done, don't be mad. They are only trying to protect you because they love you so fucking much. You should never ever do anything that harms your body. I wrote this to prevent people from doing these things, because the price you pay afterward isn't a good one. You will feel so much better once you get help. It's much better to tell someone you trust and get help, then keeping it inside.
Sincerely,
EchosVoice
