A slap on titan [Armin x Reader]

Episode 3.

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Commander Shadis, a foul mouthed, unstoppable force of nature. And now, your training captain. 'Wall Maria, please let these next 3 years be at least semi-tolerable!' You mentally prayed as commander Shadis verbally degraded the cadets ahead of you.

"You there! Who the fuck are you?!" He yelled, standing in front of Armin.

"Armin Arlert sir!" Armin yelled, saluting.

"Why the fuck are you here cadet?!"

"To contribute to mankind's victory sir!" Armin replied, his face scrunched in fear.

"That's bullshit! Look at you! I know you play with dolls!" Shadis yelled.

"Well, yes, but only for role-playing revenge fantasies!" Armin yelled back nervously.

"Shut up fuck nugget!" Shadis yelled, turning Armin around by the head.

"Ten hut!"

You began to tune out most of Shadis's yelling, instead turning your attention to two soldiers who were observing the situation. They were too far for you to hear what they were saying, but before you could try to strain your ears to hear, something Shadis said finally caught your attention.

"And why the fuck are you so happy twinkle toes?!" Shadis yelled to a tall, lanky boy with freckles.

"I can't wait to become a solider and serve the king!" The boy said.

"He won't last half a day out there," Armin whispered to himself. "This is a place where dreams go to die. He will be nothing more than a sacrifice, a pawn in my game..." you couldn't make out anymore of what the blonde said, but to be frank, you were only a tad concerned. Armin seemed a bit off, but he was still your friend. You had long since gotten used to his strange habits.

"Cadet, do you know why my eyes are so sunken in?!"

"N-no?" The boy stammered, clearly confused. You couldn't blame him, you were confused too.

"Its because I once ejaculated into a man's ass so hard, that my internal body pressure actually caved, and the force of gravity shot my eyeballs way into the back of my head! Now, knowing this, do you have a problem with homosexuals?!"

"W-w-what?!" The boy stammered even more now.

"I said! Do you have a problem with homosexuals!" Shadis repeated.

"No! No sir!" The boy answered.

"WELL I DO! DROP AND GIVE ME 50! faggot!" He muttered the last bit, but you still heard. The boys smile was wiped clean off his face. You felt a twinge of pity but quickly tossed it aside as commander Shadis towered over you.

"And who are you cadet?! Is something funny about the way I run my camp?!" He shouted at you.

"No sir!" You responded, trying to keep your voice steady.

"You won't last a day out there! And when the titans finally put you're whore ass out of its misery, I will personally throw the biggest celebration anyone this side of the wall has ever seen!" He shouted mere inches from your face.

You could feel yourself shaking, still trying your best to stay calm. You gave no reply, using all of your strength not to squeeze your eyes shut. It was like looking at the face of an angry demon who was hellbent on your humiliation.

A soon as Shadis moved onto the next unfortunate cadet, you let out a sigh. You turned to look at your friends. Eren and Mikasa both stayed front facing, saluting, uninterested. 'Nothing unusual' you thought, but when you turned to Armin, something seemed off.