Neptune

Chapter 1

Saturn ~

I write to myself pretty often. Usually about the thing I don't get to say on a daily basis which are pretty much the basics. I don't really have friends and the people I do talk to are my friends on FaceBook. I don't feel lonely, but that's probably because I try not to think about it that much. I do feel like I could have friends but due to the fact I won't allow myself to put up with other peoples bull shit, I don't. I'm pretty young right now, just about to graduate from high school and I'm the top of all my classes. All of my friends, that I have live a state away as well as my boyfriend.

My at home life is alright. I bought myself a car and I have a weekend job. I help take care of my siblings and get my work done when I need to. Life is pretty good right now and I hope to continue on my journey through it. I have two younger siblings that I currently live with Maine is seven and Joan is thirteen and I, Saturn am seventeen. My family has a big role in my life. Whenever I needed help or someone to hang out with it was always my family. Sadly I will be moving into a house of my own with my boyfriend.

I'm in a strange situation right now. I am much younger than my boyfriend and it's been difficult explaining my situation to my family. They think it's strange that I could still be with him after he has struggled so much. All of my family members wanted me to find a man who can work for the both of us and support a family, but I feel that a man should work for himself as well as a woman should work to support herself. Together a couple should be able to to take care of themselves before each other. I feel as if we both have done enough together that we can now buy a house together with the money we have worked for. What they have been confused with is the fact that the house is under my name and not his. They are also concerned about how we are engaged and I have refused to let him buy me a ring or plan a wedding at all. My answer to that is, If a person is to have a stable life then they should not spend money that they don't need to waste. Yes, It is nice to have memories of these things, something to remember, but if two people are truly in love then they should not need to spend money to prove it. I have no purpose for a ring I also have no purpose for a dress that I can't wear multiple times and is extremely expensive.

Over the years I have explained this to my fiance many times and I believe that he feels the same way. Two people should be able to live in such a way and still be content as partners. There will be no wasting money on things that are not important and there will not be one person in our household that does not work for their share of the house as well as food. I have told this to my loved ones many times and I believe that they understand my point of views. They ask about my future children and I explain that I do not intend on having children any time soon and that If i do then we will split the medical bills equally, as parents and raise the child together. I know that I sound strict, but as I have heard and said many times, discipline equals freedom, and so it does. When a schedule is done correctly, quickly and efficiently there is more time to do the other things you enjoy.

~

I've been looking for a house recently and I think I found the one that I want to buy. It's a small house. Two beds, one bath, a nice yard, a pretty decent place to live if you ask me. I think he's gonna like it. I might just buy the house now and not tell him, but I also don't want to be rude and not let him know beforehand.

We've been looking forward to buying a house together for a few years now. He would always say that he was going to buy us a big house with a big yard wo we can have a farm, but I would tell him that we could have a regular size house with a decent yard and I would still be just as happy. We would have less to clean and we wouldn't have to take out a loan to buy the house either. He understood and so I believe that I found a house for the both of us to enjoy.

I hear the phone ring a few times before I pick it up. "Hello?" The person clears their throat and begins to speak.

"Hey babe its me" His voice sounds calm and relaxed, "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date this friday? I'll be in town for a week or so. I really want to see you."

"Y-yes! That sounds amazing." I feel a warm feeling wrap around me as I hear him speak.

"I was so excited when my boss told me I got a week off. I have so much to tell you babe. I can't wait to see you."

I can tell that he's been waiting to tell me until the right time. I reply, "That's great!

I have most of next week off too." We continue to talk. Not about the house but about how we've been just like every other night.

He is a very gentle person, vey soft and kind. A loving man with a big personality. Over the years I have gotten to know him very well. He's been through a lot during his life, good and bad. I've seen him fight through the worst of times and he made it out alive and well. He would always tell me that he couldn't have done it without me, but over time he will learn that I will always be by his side no matter what.

He says that he wants kids one day, but I always told myself that I could never have children. Physically I am capable of having healthy children. The fact is that the world we live in is becoming less suitable for more life and considering there are many children who don't have families I think it's best that we don't, but if that's what it comes down to then so be it.

I plan on doing some volunteer work down at the orphanage. There is an orphanage down the street from the house I've been considering buying and I think it would be nice to get to know some of the kids there. I was reading on their website that they are looking for a teacher for the little ones. All I need to have to apply is a High school diploma and other experience with kids, which I have plenty of.

I might seem like a stubborn person sometimes, but I do enjoy letting loose and having fun. When I was younger I would get picked on because I was too nice and I didn't fit in with others, but over time I began to learn that I can be as fun as I want to be without being let down. With the right friends and the right mindset I can fit in with myself and the people I have learned to love. I've learned that If you want to fit in then you have to be content with yourself and find the right people to be around that don't make you uncomfortable. Make the ones you love, the ones you trust, make them your family weather you're related or not.

Hopefully I can have my fiance come with me, so he can get to know some of the kids too. I think they would like him. He is very kind and grew up with younger siblings as well so I'm sure they'll get along one way or another. He can teach them his cute little magic tricks and read them his favorite books from when he was young. Either way I'm sure he'll want to join us once in a while.

I also found piano lessons for him. I've been telling him for s good long while that he should play, but he never listens. He has the perfect hands to play the piano. Soft, strong hands and long, lanky fingers. He's a tall guy around six or so feet. Big green eyes and dirty blonde hair. He doesn't like learning things he's never tried before because he is afraid of messing it up. He's afraid of failing when he hasn't even tried yet and I tell him all the time that failure is the best teacher but he still just nods his head and says, "I know.."

I on the other hand have been in the music business for quite some time now. I played the flute in sixth grade band and guitar from seventh grade till my junior year in high school. I was involved in jazz band and choir. I was pretty good and I had fun making music and meeting new people. I would get my work done early so I could go help the little ones with their recorder lessons at the elementary school on fridays, which I enjoyed very much.

It's getting late, so I must make my way to bed and read myself to sleep like every other night, waiting for the day I get out of here. Waiting until the day I graduate and move on with my life.