From the journal of Patient Sixteen written under the initials of CTL, JL, H, JTT, LNO, TLN, and JNN dated in 24 and 27 of June 2001; voice recorded by Dr.Quirrero
N I N T H S Y M P T O M:
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warning: this chapter contains a lot of negative triggers. please read with extra caution for the safety of your mental state.
1
JULIET IS as guilty as sin.
Yet, no matter how much she tries to shake off her thoughts about her boyfriend's cousin nor to dictate her own eyes to not wander around the crowd as if searching for a certain person, she will just always find her own body betraying her own will and demand.
She is much aware that she cannot do anything about it. On how her heart pound hard that it ended up aching. On how her breathing quickens as she feel her presence. On how the shivers travel painfully in every fiber of her body. And on how her emotions roughly touches every corner of her as she laid her eyes on the grey ones, as if leaving a souvenir for her to remember.
It's all because of Abstal.
And no matter how she wish that she could, the thoughts about the blonde woman still wouldn't stop that it always sends her to the edge.
But then, a strong surge of denial quickly enveloped her rationality as she slowly indulge herself in one reason that may be the possible cause of her nerve-racking body reactions.
Her sexual orientation is in the spectrum of heterosexism, she was sure of that. It was proven for years as she has never been attracted to another woman romantically, not even sexually.
Ilang beses na niyang napatunayan na ang pag-ibig ay hindi para sa kanya, ngunit hindi inaasahang nagbago ito ng dumating si Damon at maglapat ang kanilang paningin. At tanging sa inhinyero niya lang naramdaman ang depinisyon niya sa pag-ibig.
Ang depinisyon na nagmula sa multo ng nakaraan na hindi na niya maalala. Ngunit ang matipuno at malalim na boses na nagsambit ng bawat kataga ay patuloy na nakaukit sa kanyang isipan.
Quando l'amore non è follia, non è amore. If love is not madness, then it is not love.
"Sabing lalabas na nga kami! Ano pa ba ang dapat niyo'ng pag-usapan?!"
Ang malakas na boses ni Julien ang nagpabalik sa doktora sa kanyang sarili. Mabilis na lumipat ang kanyang nagtatakang tingin sa likuran kung saan halos kitang-kita na ang ugat sa noo ng kanyang kakambal habang ang mga mata nito ay nag-aalab sa galit na nakatingin sa direksyon pahilis sa kanya.
