so... as if it's only yesterday, you were happy, young carefree.. free of responsibility. You could play outside or colour in your favourite book... You felt joy and had everything and more at your little fingertips. We all saw what happened, when did the world turn on me, What did I do wrong? Sometimes you deeply consider that everything that went wrong was because if you. It's not always your fault, it's not a bad thing to mess up, or fail. But it is not ok to blame yourself. Turn the tables on yourself for all that goes wrong... You are not the burden. No matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are, the mistake, the reason for the world to turn sour.
Imagine yourself with no problems, all the love all the stability and stuff that you have ever wanted, or felt like you've been missing. That you've needed and craved for, some, attention. You're lost, walking in circles over and over around and around. Every day is like a cosset tape replaying every day. Boring isn't it. The same old boring repetition of your so-called, boring, dreadful life. Are you happy, I mean is there a little ray of shine whether it be a song, a movie, maybe a friend you care for, or cares for you and knows your in need of someone to talk to? If you have something, even if it's something little. Doesn't that little something help you just a little, maybe for a split second everything, every worry, comment, a memory that seems to be to a burden or, something that was deeply embedded into your brain that never leaves. You have the option to let it play or hit pause. A lot of what I'm saying is easier said than done. But when you feel like brief moment o relief. Where you don't feel choked up, you can take a minute and cry, sing, scream, or take a moment to just breathe. Whatever that thing may be.. keep it don't let it go. treat it as gold, so worthy there's no price to your happiness.
don't expect you all to have something, and it's ok if you don't, by all means, I still struggle with finding that sense of relief at times. Me i write, whether its just a few things jotting down my day, or it's 6 pages long. there's no body to stopping you. Take an opportunity, and let it ride. Try it before you kick it to the curb. Maybe for some you don't like to write, then listen to music and learn the lyrics to a song. Listen to every word replay it until you have it all down. it's take awhile but it's a goal. It might not seem like a big deal but it's a start from being at rock bottom. Nobody likes to be there im the first to admit, I've been there more times than I'd like to admit. Sometimes i just wanna punch a hole in the wall or sit in the corner and think about how what i do wrong, why cant i be happy, why do i have to suffer. Well it's a hard thing to move on from. belittling yourself, we all have before. You might go a day, maybe a week. It's incredible what we can do, when we let ourselves take the task at hand. it's stressful when you fail, you just wanna quit, you wanna let it all go, or you get up you do what you know you should and try. again.
You are fully capable of great things, I hated to believe I'm worth something. it is hard, it's not gonna be easy but it's worth it to be happy. to have someone or something to talk to. Everyone needs that something if its a person, or a stuffed animal. something is better than nothing. so give it a try, you can do it. Say what's on your mind. let it go and get it off your chest.
