This is Maesyn

It was hard, having to walk up those steps and then tread down the threadbare runner, quickly trying to find vacant spots towards the middle. Pushing the shades back up the bridge of my nose I wandered over to the closest one, wanting to rest my feet and plug into my phone. After making sure that I was the last one to get on, I took my luggage and lifted it so that it could go into the overhead compartment, carefully pushing each one in to keep from scuffing the bottoms. My uncharacteristic carefulness made me chuckle and I took my seat, sitting my posh handbag on the stained, indented cushion beside me. With ink colored glasses and chestnut postiche bob, I knew it would take some time before anyone would start following my trail.

Unless they found the courage to go speak to Dad.

Knowing him, he would more than likely figure out where I was headed, where I had to be. I had to force back a smirk in order to keep the images from returning, not yet ready for someone to happen upon me and see dark streaks leaking down my face. That would only cause them to ask if I was okay, and, at this moment, I'm not sure if I would be able to tell them otherwise in any convincing way. My stare was fixed on all the movement outside the window, watching as the heavy foot traffic continued on by. When I noticed the occasional blue uniform slow down and stand about my eyes would zero in on them, taking in their body language and their expressions while my hand lingered above my bag. It wasn't until they would move on or turn their back that I would relax once more in my seat, my arm returning to its position between the two chairs.

I let the side of my forehead lean against the cool glass, my shades making a soft clink against it as I tried to be patient, wanting us to depart. The sound of steps drew my attention from a group of tourists looking over their phones and the street signs to a man getting on the bus. I couldn't keep myself from noticing his crisp, navy blue outfit, the belt on his hips that held a holster and the radio attached to his shoulder. Even though one could see that the officer and the one seated at the very front were acquaintances engaged in a friendly chat, I couldn't help but have sweaty palms, a rushing sound in my ears while I quickly slipped my feet from my pumps. All I knew was that if he started walking down the aisle I would bolt towards the only bathroom on here and climb through the small porthole to get onto the busy city street, and disappear into the crowds with ease.

Just as the man in blue glanced in my direction and then swept over the many faces of the bus, I made sure my head was angled down, causing the synthetic strands to cover my face a bit and gave the illusion I was looking at something in my lap. I felt his eyes on me for a few seconds, making me want to shift around in my worn seat, but I stayed unmoving like a statue, forcing my posture to look loose and comfortable while giving an air of indifference, before he tore his eyes from me, lowered his hat to his friend in farewell and left. As soon as his foot stepped off the last stair and he was back on the sidewalk, standing out against the crowd like a spring leaf in autumn, the set of doors hissed shut behind him and the parking gear made a metal on metal grinding noise as it shifted into drive. My eyes broke away from the heavy set man as he pulled away from the curb and decided it was time to open my handbag and retrieve some of its contents.

Luckily the seats had folding trays, so I took out my bulging journal, phone, some pens and a pair of earbuds. Inserting the buds into the phone and then putting in my ear, I unlocked the screen, not allowing myself to look at the wallpaper photos as I tapped on the icon to open up my playlist. Picking a song at random, I sat the phone down and opened to the final page of the journal, unfolding the large sheet of paper being used as the bookmark while waiting for the music to begin.

I exhaled softly through my nose at the first choice being played.

I didn't pay much mind to the song itself, only listened to the melody as my mind was wrapped up in the map smoothed out before me, absorbing the hastily made sharpie marks of all the routes and estimated times of arrival for each spot. Over and over I kept reading the route names, following the bold lines and muttering each stop name under my breath while the few people on the bus either settled in their spots with their laptops or chatted animatedly on their phones. I'm not quite sure how long I kept going over it, only remembered that as the sun began to touch the horizon and blared brighter I had to pull the shade for my window down, not even glancing up to do so.