I'll Be Okay

The Beginning

Lavient is my name, and this isn't the beginning of a love story, quite the opposite really. Before we start I'll tell you a bit about myself. Im a male, I'm 18, and I used to have a best friend.

My parents call me downstairs for breakfast, but I can't seem to move. Last night.. It must have been a dream, it couldn't be real. I did not lose her last night. I grab my phone and look through my call log, and surely enough there were three missed calls from her, and the fourth, I answered. She was crying, I remember that. Talking about how she had, had enough. I tried to calm her down, but it didn't work. No this is a dream. This can't be real. No fucking way. She said "I love you" eight times. Eight times, I said it back each time. Trying to convince her she was enough. Enough for me. Then the phone went silent, for two hours.. I didn't hang up, I thought she fell asleep. She did, but she wasn't waking up this time. I call her. Once, twice, three times. No answer. I grab my pillow and begin to sob into it. My best friend, MY BEST FRIEND. My everything, the one person I woke up happy to see. I love her, but now it's to late.. If I would have answered the first time.. I hear the phone ringing downstairs and my mother answering it. She loved Bellie. Bellie was the daughter she never had. I hear a blood curdling scream come from downstairs, and still, I do not move. I listen to the sound of my father's footsteps running over to my mother. "Honey are you okay?! What happened.." I hear him say. My mother, sobbing, probably in his arms. My tears streaming down my face, but I don't make a sound. I call her again and again and again. Listening to her voicemail, "hai you've reached Bellie!" And then me in the background, "and Lav!" Her little laugh, "leave a message at the beep!" Me once again, "BEEP!" Then the actual beep, this time I leave a voicemail, "Bellie, answer your phone! This isn't funny! This is mean Bells" my voice cracks. I hang up and try calling again. But before I can leave another message there's a knock on my door. I quickly wipe my tears away, but I know my eyes are red. "Come in." I say in my deep voice, but it's weak, barely audible. My parents walk into my room, my mother sits on my bed, she didn't bother wiping her tears. My father stands next to her, a hand on her shoulder. "Lav.. We need to tell you something." I look at her, suddenly angry, "No. You don't get to tell me that she is gone. That's not true!" My mother looks at me softly, "how did you know..?" My eyes haven't left hers, "I was on the phone with her." I say finally admitting it.