I miss the way it used to be.
Dancing at 2 in the morning to kidz bop radio; Attempting flower crowns, failing horribly and laughing it off. She'd push me into the pool knowing I could swim.
Now it's screaming she is not good enough and every day she is gone I'm wondering if I will see her again. The moments in which she is fine and the moments in which she is not blur into one meaning that one moment she is laughing and the next she is crying so hard that I am afraid the force of her tears will leave her eyes rolling on the floor
I love the old her but I love this her just as much I would love the two hers to become one but leave the bad stuff in the past because now I am gone and I don't want her to think she was the one who pushed me from my home. Because my home was her and him and them and if we can't all be a home together I need to find a new home. Because here there is only a sea of sorrows and I can not float.
