Why I'm Not A Wallflower

Bacon, School, and Tears

I wake up to the smell of bacon. The smell makes my mouth water. I decide to go downstairs and have breakfast. To be fair, who can resist the smell of bacon? I run downstairs to find my Dad in the kitchen. 

"Hey, dad," I say as I reach in the fridge and grab the orange juice.

"Morning! Ready for your first day of school?" he asks.

I take a sip of my orange juice and respond with a no. 

"Why not?"

"Well for starters, I'm gonna fail all my classes, make no new friends, and get in trouble all the time. Shall I go on?"

"No I think I get the idea. You're gonna be fine, Julia! Everyone feels the same on the first day of high school."

"Not the popular kids. They're all fine. They're gonna have all of their friends in their classes. Plus they're gonna turn everyone against me!"

"Okay, now you're just being dramatic. All you have to do is ignore them and they have no reason to do anything to you."

My Dad just doesn't understand. He will never understand how I feel. How scared I am that no one will understand me. How scared I am that people won't accept me for me. How scared I am that I will fail everything. He will never understand how scared I am.

Suddenly, the tears come flowing out. There's nothing I can do to stop them. I never cry, so whenever it happens, my Dad knows there's something really wrong.

"Julia, what's wrong?" he asks  concerned.

"I can't go to high school. I can't. Please don't make me go!" I cry.

There's no way I could make my dad- or anyone for that matter- understand what I'm feeling. The fear I have about this whole thing. No one understands how I feel.

He is silent for a second but then finally says, "I know it can be scary to start something completely new. So let's make a deal. You go to school for a week and if you absolutely hate it," he pauses for a second and then continues, "we'll talk."

I know I don't really have a choice so I agree.

After breakfast I grab my backpack and head to the car.

My dad gets in and pulls out of the driveway, "you know where you're going right?"

"Yep. I have Language first period in room 7 on the bottom floor."

"Good. If you need anything at anytime throughout the day just call or text me. I'll have my phone with me at all times."

"Thanks," I mumble.

I'm so scared I honestly think I might throw up. So I just stare out he window and try to think about anything else but school to avoid myself from hurling.

Before I know it we've arrived.

You ready?" Dad asks.

"As I'll ever be," I reply. And with that, I'm off.