The Only Reason (Sequel to Everything I Want)

"He said he'd pick me up the following day at six, it was the cheesiest thing I'd ever heard but I didn't care." I took Michael's hand in my own and smiled at him from under my lashes knowing that I would be uncontrollably blushing. I got a bit tearful at how far we'd come since then and fell towards his shoulder stifling my tears with a chuckle at myself for being silly. Michael's grip tightened around my hand as he laughed too.

"And now look at you, married with an adorable little girl of your own." The interviewer remarked.

I looked up at Michael admiring the smile that appeared on his face at the mention of daughter and did my best to listen to the proud words falling from his mouth as he told the interviewer how happy he was.

“Actually we have an announcement,” Michael gave my hand a squeeze and continued, “we’re pregnant, well I’m not, Sam is, but we’re having another baby!” He flushed red as he stumbled over his excited words.

“Oh wow congratulations!” the interviewer stated as her and the audience clapped. I smiled and shied away behind Michael’s shoulder.  

"What's it going to be like on tour then Michael, being away from your family with a new baby in the picture?" A pressing question I knew he was used to answering.

"It'll be hard, but we’ve managed to shuffle tour dates enough that’ll I’ll be here when Sam needs me most" He took a breath and continued, "I love Sam and Jessie so much and I worry that I'm missing out you know, but Sam's also coming on the road with us for a bit too." 

I watched the smile reappear and sat up at the mention of my name.

"Oh wow, what's that going to be like for you Sam?" the interviewer asked.

"I have no idea but I'm looking forward to it. I've been on tour with the boys a couple of times before but not with the kids, so it should be interesting, Jessie loves the boys and so do I so it shouldn't be too difficult either."

"Well, it's been great chatting to you both and good luck with the tour and the baby, I’m so happy to see you both in such a wonderful place but I'm afraid that's all we've got time for today," the interviewer turned in her chair from us to face the camera and the audience, "but join me tomorrow when we'll be joined by Shailene Woodley, talking about her new movie. Thanks for watching."

And with that the "On Air" sign lost its red glow and the audience applauded and cheered. Michael and I stood up from the warm red couch and shook the presenter’s hand, thanking her for having us; she was complimenting us on our on air, off air relationship when Ashton walked in carrying Jessie.

“Daddy!” she shouted. She twisted in Ashton’s arms and reached out for Michael. He took her from Ashton and held her at arms length.

“Hello Monkey!” He pulled her in closer and blew a raspberry on her cheek. She giggled with happiness and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched my husband smile as he watched our daughter.

“She’s such a fidget,” Ashton remarked, “I was surprised I managed to keep her backstage for as long as I did, I thought she’d end up being on the show with you.”

I laughed as I tickled her side. “Have you been causing trouble again? Huh? Huh?” I carried on tickling her knowing where all her weak spots were. She screamed with laughter and shook her head slowly.

“No mummy.” She leant forward from Michael and held her arms out for me to take her.

Michael turned to Ashton, “thanks for keeping an eye on her.”

“No problem mate.” Ashton replied.

When Jessie was born, we waited a little while to choose godparents because we didn’t want to choose between Calum, Ash and Luke or hurt anyone feelings, but before she was even three months old we realised the obvious effect that Ash and Jessie had on each other. The boys all loved her like their own but with Ash something was slightly different. He changed when she was born for the better if that was even possible. At first Michael felt slightly threatened about the bond they shared but soon realised she was just as much a daddy’s girl as she was an Ashton girl. Now a year and a half old she had the qualities I admire most of each of the two boys and fortunately for her looked more like her father than she did me.

Even though I’m in a much better place now and a lot happier than I was two years ago, I am still extremely self conscious. I no longer have trouble eating around friends or family but still get nervous if we go out for dinner. I’m more comfortable in my own skin but I still get days when I refuse to wear shorts in the blazing sun and would rather chill indoors in a pair sweat pants.

I was pulled out of my daze when I felt Michael’s hand on my back. “Right babe, shall we go?”

I nodded as he guided me out of the studio back to the car. We said goodbye to Ashton, although I don’t doubt we’ll see him again within the next 24 hours. Although none of the boys live together anymore it’s not unusual to see each of them at least once a day. I strapped Jessie into her car seat and took shotgun position next to Michael as he pulled away from the curb outside the studio.