Angels

Chapter one: Writer, Musician, and Goth

Grey skies, grey mood, grey underwear. Yes, I accidentally washed my white cotton underwear with a black sock, and now they are grey. The sky is grey because it's forecast to rain in here in New York. My mood is grey because I caught my boyfriend of 2 years balls deep in some fake big tit brunette. I love him.

I'm not gonna lie; I'm not that surprised. I could sense he was drifting. Ashley says I'm better off without him because he changed me so much that she could no longer recognize me. When I asked her what she meant, she said something along the lines of this;

'Like, he wouldn't let you dress the way you used to, all gothic and stuff because it was "slutty and satanic", he didn't appreciate your music or your singing, you weren't allowed to talk to other guys, you were barely allowed to hang out with me, he'd not let you go shopping and he had that weird curfew. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Dev, he was abusing you. You're a writer, a musician, and a goth and you were not any of that with him. You need to reclaim your life, and you can start by moving out of his stupid apartment and coming to live with me again.'

And that brings me to the present moment, where I am writing in my journal inside the van we rented to move my things to Ashley's apartment in Brooklyn. 

I put my journal in my bag as Ashley hopped into the front of the van with me, a big grin on her heart-shaped freckled face and a glimmer in her blue eyes. Ashley was a bold, bubbly and outspoken red-head, with a tall athletic figure and always covered in paint. She was a freelance graphic designer/ artist with a moderately successful business attached to the ground floor of her home.

I was fully expecting her to take us straight there, but instead, she pulled into the parking lot of a street of stores. I look at her questioningly.

"Come on, my friend Matt from the next building over doesn't get off work until 7 pm so we have some time to kill before we can rope him into helping us," she explained, "and I want to see that man all sweaty, so we're going to get the good ol', Devin Costello, back post-depressing break-up style!"

She dragged me into a hair salon on the strip and whispered something to the stylist who simply nodded and dragged me to the wash area. My long mane of black hair was messy and wild as I hadn't had it trimmed in 3 months. The woman washed my hair took a collection of scissors and began hacking away and thinning the mass on my head. I thought the assault would have been over once she dried my hair, but no, she began to put some product on my hair and wrap it in aluminum foil. Is this the protect my mind from aliens? What the fuck is going on?!

By the time they let me look at my own reflection, I almost didn't recognize myself. I now had dark blue and purple galaxy ombre, and my naturally wavy hair was back. I couldn't stop staring at it. It was gorgeous! I looked...almost like myself before I dated Mike. Ashley had paid the woman while I was still admiring her work in the mirror and I stumbled out the salon after her, offering a hurried 'thank you' to the woman.

Ashley dragged me to a series of thrift shops and piled my arms up with bargain bin finds and after another 2 hours she pushed me into a dressing room and gave me an outfit she'd prepared in a bag for me.

"Get yourself out of those horrible baggy clothes," she grinned, "you're not Mike's girlfriend anymore, so show off that gorgeous figure and your tattoo sleeves!"

The outfit she'd prepared was very much the style I loved, but I hadn't worn it in so long. Mike would've taught me a lesson for being so slutty. He'd have told me only a tart would have her tattoos on display and so many of them. He was right. I was a slut. That's why other men would talk to me when he was around. I didn't want to wear this outfit, but Ashley had already gone to all of this trouble already. I'd put on the outfit for a while, and then as soon as we were home and change and play some overwatch.

The outfit was a tight black bustier top that made my cleavage pour out, and some distressed denim jeans with ankle boots. I stepped out of the changing room uncomfortable. I looked nice but I felt so exposed.

"YES!" Ashley cried, clapping her hands, "There's my best friend!"

She dragged me out of the store and into the moving van saying, "If we go now, Matt should be arriving home and we can rope him into helping us."

"Won't he be tired from work?" I asked.

She shrugs, "He's a nice guy who likes to help people, especially damsels in distress."

"You like him don't you?" I teased.

She bit her lip and sighed, "I want to jump him so fucking bad!"

"Go on," I smirked with a raised eyebrow.

"I joined his boxing gym to be closer to him," she gushed, "he's so sweet and handsome and...UGH!"

"So, what's stopping you from jumping him?" I asked, "It's not like you to hold back on a guy."

She looks hesitant, "I'm worried he's dating this girl called Lisa Parker, they work together and seem super close..."

We pulled up to her apartment and I saw a tall guy with brown hair get off his motorbike.

"That's him!" she gushed.

I grinned and got out of the van. Matt greeted us and said he was happy to finally meet me as Ashley did nothing but talk about me to him and the gang. He gladly helped us and in no time I was moved into Ashley's large spare room. Ashley and Matt stood in the doorway chatting for a while longer and I went into my room to play Overwatch as planned.

Ashley shut the front door and I heard her digging around her large storage space near her kitchen. She came back with 3 boxes and a guitar I'd asked her to get rid of when I started dating Mike.

She sighed when she saw the look on my face, "I know. But you're not with him anymore. He can't hurt you or control you anymore. I don't know fully what happened, but I can guess. You've music as an outlet for so many traumatic events, and god knows you've had some experiences. I think it'd be helpful to pick up your dad's guitar again Dev."

I remain silent and she continues, "Nothing bad is gonna happen to you now. Tomorrow is the weekend, and you are going to wing-woman me at Colin's concert tomorrow, and you're going to meet all sorts of wonderful supportive people. I'm ready to listen to you whenever you're ready to talk, but all I ask is that you give this a serious shot."

I smile weakly and nod. She smiles and blows me a kiss, as she leaves she stops in the doorway, turns to me and says, "At least think about the guitar, Dev."

And she was gone. I paused my game and fell back onto the black silk sheets of my futon bed. I looked at my dad's old electric guitar and sigh. Ash was right, I needed to move on and let it out through something, but would it be music again? Would I be able to this time?

Authors note: Okay, a new chapter will be following very soon, but I do love reading comments, ideas, theories, and suggestions. So, don't be afraid to leave a comment or ask a question, I'll be happy to reply and answer. It brings me joy to see them. Don't forget to follow me for notifications of updates! :)