He left. He left me alone again. He left me for thirteen years. He's here now but it's like he's never really here. My body is shaking like mad. Parts of my body are hot. Others have goosebumps so intense they hurt. My breathing is heavy my body is stiff. My muscles ache. I feel like I'm falling apart. Like a glass dish. I've been thrown and now I'm shattered. I just can't find the superglue to save myself. I hate being alone. But yet I'm always alone. People are there, but they're never really there. They're never there because they don't actually care. They never have. If they did then maybe I wouldn't be as fucked up as I am now. Maybe I'd be normal. Maybe I'd be happy.Maybe things could actually be good in my life.Maybe I wouldn't feel so worthless all the time.Maybe I'd actually be able to survive by myself. But I don't think that's ever gonna happen really. Things will just continue with the way they are. I'll constantly need to have someone there because nobody ever was before. I'll never survive a day by myself. I'll never be able to make it. I don't even know why I'm still here to tell you the truth. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
