"I want to be pretty enough for you.
I want you to look at me and think more than just "she's okay," or "at least she's funny."
I want to be the last thing on your mind when you fall asleep and
the first thing on your mind when you wake.
Christmas time is a shitty time of year.
I love everything about it except the day itself.
I hate feeling judged by my family.
I hate feeling like the first thing going through their heads when they see me is,
"Wow, she really gained weight."
or
"How much makeup is she even wearing?"
or
"What a slut. She needs to pull up her shirt."
etc.
My own fears are the result of my fucked up mind, my self destructive tendencies, and my suicidal thoughts.
I don't feel comfortable in my own skin- this was bound to happen."
