A Slam to Everything

"I Have, I am and Used To"

 I have loved the stars even with a broken heart

I have reached for the Moon knowing ill never make it

And I have had the warmth of a hand that never quite grasped me

I have laid in bed hoping to dream but instead I lay awake with my heart racing

I turn from left to right with a chill running all over me

It’s the feeling of being lonely

A feeling of waiting

Waiting for that empty spot to become full

And waiting for anything to mend the pieces

I find myself smiling at anything

And I find myself going along with everything

But my smile is false and my insides are used to lying

I have and I am used to going outside in the cold

My heart being one of the parts that’s used to it all

So much so that when warmth arrives, it’s a shock

I’m used to over thinking in the shower

Where water becomes more than water

So much so that I start to drown

I am used to loving while broken

Its like a negative feeling

Like being drained of all feelings

I am used to reaching for things out of reach

It’s a silent hope

A hope for not giving up

And I am used to false warmth

Where unknown hands try to unravel me

But I end up tangled and still cold

I have

I am

And used to doing these things

Maybe because if I stopped loving while broken

I wouldn’t have room to be filled up

If I stopped reaching for things out of reach

That means im giving up on life

And if I had no false warmth

I would never know what it feels like to be untangled

To love while broken

To reach for the stars then aim for the moon

And to sit in the cold searching for warmth

I have

And I am

Used to these things