When it comes to life you want to spend it fully because you never know how long you got left... The thing is I do.
"Excuse me miss? Can you hear me?" The nurse in front of me spoke.
I shook my head, leaving the daze I was in.
"Yes ma'am" I looked up at her as I answered.
"Would you like to start chemo?" she questioned me.
I felt everything around me was falling apart, my world was slowly leaving the grasp of my hands and I felt like I was losing control. I felt the tears run down my cheeks, I had a thousand words to say but as I tried to speak I felt myself trembling, nothing coming out my mouth.
**Two hours earlier**
I headed towards the hospital doors watching them slide open right in front of me. I headed towards the waiting room and sat down putting in my music. I felt this strong chest pain, which is bringing me here today. I'll just be here and prescribed medicine, nothing special. I thought to myself sitting in the waiting room. I watched two kids fighting over a toy car in the left of my vision, while their mom was busy talking on the phone about who knows what. I've always wanted kids even though I've lacked a genuine love life. I kept watching the kids fighting over the truck when my thought process was cut off.
"Miss Shepherd?" a lady came in the room with a clipboard in her hand looking around the room. I stood up from my seat, greeting her shaking her hand. She led me down the hallway,
"Can you please step on the scale?" She asked me.
I took off my coat and scarf as I put it on the hooks next to the scale. I stepped on the scale and waited as she adjusted it.
"122 pounds," she said as she scribbled on her clipboard, leading me to a room. I sat down on the hospital bed, hearing the crinkling of the sheets from underneath me.
"So you're having chest pains?" The nurse asked me looking at me. I nodded twiddling my fingers in my lap.
She brought up her cold fingers up to the sides of my neck and pushed them down and moved her fingers around in a circular motion.
"You have swollen lymph nodes." She told me writing on her clipboard again.
"Do you have trouble breathing?" She looked up at me semi concerned. I nodded my head slightly looking back down on my lap.
"You've lost quite a bit of weight since you last been here in two months. You've lost around 20 pounds, have you been working out or on a diet?" She questioned.
I shook my head "I have been coughing up blood sometimes." I whispered.
"How long has all of this been going on?" She asked concerned.
"Over a month now I think," I said sighing wanting to just leave now.
"I think it would be best if we took you in for a CT scan." She said sighing down writing on her clipboard.
She eventually got up and led me into a room with a giant scanner. Around 30 minutes later I'm sitting back in the first room I was in waiting for my CT scan results. The same nurse from before enters the room,
"I have some bad news..." the nurse said quietly.
"We are afraid that you have lung cancer." She said the words so quickly I almost didn't catch what she said. I let the words absorb my thoughts leaving me completely stunned.
**Back to the present**
"Would you like to start chemo?" she questioned me. I thought to myself before shaking my head quickly,
"Can I be released?" I asked the nurse standing up from the hospital bed.
"Are you sure you don't want treatment?" She asked me
"How long do I have left with treatment and without treatment?" I asked hesitantly.
"Without treatment, you will be alive for at least 3 months, with treatment probably around 6 months." She said looking down at her chart. I stood there thinking to myself, whats the point of paying for chemo when it only keeps me alive for three more months? I'd rather pay to travel the world than for three months worth of chemo. I looked up at the nurse before I spoke.
"Ill go without chemo," I said quietly. The nurse nodded before she scribbled on her chart one last time before leaving the room.
**Three hours later**
I finally got to my parents' house waiting on their front doorstep for them to answer, ready to tell them the 'big news'. When they answered the door they greeted me with a big hug,
"We've missed you, honey!" They both said in unison.
"I've got some bad news to tell you guys..." I said quietly looking down.
"Whats wrong honey?" My mother asked me concerned.
"I have lung cancer," I said shaking wishing I didn't have to see my parents reactions. I saw my mother start to tremble bringing her hands up to her face before breaking down crying. I also saw my father start to tear up as he brought my mother into a hug crying into his shoulder. Eventually, my parents came over towards me hugging me tightly.
"I'm planning to travel before I die, I've always wanted to experience the world,"
I told my parents departing from the hug. I heard my mother sniffle as I hugged her again,
"Wheres little Danny?" I questioned my mother looking down at her.
"He's in his room asleep, would you like to say goodbye to him?" My mother questioned.
I nodded my head leaving the living room, heading down the hallway. As I looked at the walls I saw old family photos of us four. I stopped and look at one specific photo on the wall of us four from when we won a fishing tournament. I look specifically at my face from when I still had braces and crooked glasses and my little brother when he was around one year old still with his baby fat.
I eventually started heading towards my brother's room, creaking the door open I saw him sleeping peacefully on the bed. I walked up to the edge of the bed sighing as I looked down at him.
"I'm going to miss you, little buddy," I said tearing up as I bent down and kissed his forehead as a goodbye. I crept my way out of his room, my mother stopped me in the hallway.
"I'm going to miss you so much dear." my mother said bringing me in for yet again another hug.
"I'll miss you too mother," I said tearing up again.
"Do you think I can take that picture that's on the wall right there?" I asked pointing up at the photo I was previously looking at.
"Of course!" My mother took the picture off the wall taking it out of its frame, then handing it over to me. I nodded as I started to head over to the front door saying my goodbyes to my parents before leaving.
Well, its time to start a new life I said to myself getting into my car.
***
I HOPED YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS THERE'S MORE TO COME I PROMISE PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED!!
Much love xx, Jojo.
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Unfortunate Feelings.
Teen FictionShe's always loved to see the world, she's never had the chance too. When she finds out that she has a deadly disease, she goes on her journey to explore life before time runs out. What she didn't expect was to meet someone who changed her outlook...
