Crime Of Love

1) Fragile

Kiona

 

Hello, I'm Kiona.  Well, I'm sure you already know that. But let me give you a little bit more information about me. 

I'm 15, and I've been through hell.  In my eyes I have.  All of my school years have been nothing but torture and its crazy.  Its crazy that I don't feel safe at home a lot of the times, and then I come to this place called "school" where one, they don't teach you anything.

And two.. they don't protect you.  They believe that sending someone to In- school-suspension for about a day will take a way all problems..  but that's besides the point.   The point is, i don't feel loved.  I feel like I do everything wrong,  anything I touch i break. 

Any eyes that look at me, laugh silently and the conversations that surround me are about me.

I'm insecure and I have a lot of issues that I disguise.. Because I feel like nobody needs to know.  If you wanna know more, keep reading and don't stop until you can't take it anymore.  K?  Kay.

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Fri. 9:00AM
“1st Block”

The first thing I always do when I come into this classroom is take out my books, and lay my head down.  Sometimes I even try to sneak and plug my earphones in. 
I use my earphones to block out any noises that I don't want to hear.  Meaning, rumors that are being spread around, lies being told, people fighting.  And while all of this is going on, the teacher does absolutely nothing.

Im almost asleep when I hear my name.  “Kionnaa!”
Turning my head away without saying a word, I ignore the annoying voice that keeps calling my name.  I wish he would stop calling my name. 
“Kiona!  You hear me bitch.”
Laughter fills the room.

Blowing breath out of my nose,  I lay silently still.  Maybe if they think that im sleep, they will leave me alone.  And soon after, I realize how dumb I am to actually believe that.

“She probably over there dreaming about food.  You know, what the typical fat bitch does.”
.....

The WHAT?  My eyes immediately pop open and I jump up.
“Fat what?”

..More laughing. 
“You heard me.  What's wrong with being a fat bitch?”

I think to myself... quick.  Think of something.  I look up with disappointment in my eyes.

“Nothing. There's nothing wrong with it.”  I shake my head, angered that I'm not able to have a good comeback like all the other kids.  That everyone gets to laugh at me instead of with me and when I actually do defend myself, nobody takes me seriously. 

Am I that big of a joke?
.......   

I go and sit back down, laying my head the same way.  A tear falls down my cheek,  as usual.  Im sitting in this class crying,  trying to wipe away tears that shouldn't even be there.  Trying not to be seen.  I don't wanna be seen.  I don't wanna be here. I'm
...Im... Fragile.