True Friends

Gwen stood in her home, backed into the wall by two men, both dressed in dark cloaks. Their swords were pointed at her chest, and the men stood no less than a foot away. She was still dressed in her day clothes, the men having interrupted her while she was getting ready for bed. They stood there, silently, Gwen frantically looking for any escape, and the men blocking any exit, for perhaps five minutes. Then, suddenly she made a desperate grab for the poker by the fire, but it jumped out of reach. She gasps and the two men, with their swords still pointed at her, part, to reveal a hooded figure. The men slowly lower their swords and Gwen made a move toward the poker again, but the figure grabbed her arm and pulled her close, so close that Gwen could see who it was.

"Morgana!" she cried, ripping her arm away. "Let me go!" She backed against the wall, reaching for something, anything to defend her.

"Guinevere. Stop. I am not going to harm you. Not now, anyway. I just want to talk." Morgana takes a step toward Gwen. Gwen plasterers herself against the wall, eyes flitting between the men and Morgana.

"Leave us" Morgana commands. The guards look questioningly at her, then at Gwen. "I said leave! What harm can she do me. Leave us. Now." The guards hesitantly sheath their swords and obey. Morgana watches them go, then turns back to Gwen.

"Leave me alone, Morgana." Gwen looks down, but her eyes stay fixed on Morgana, a look of fear and anger on her face.

"Now, now Gwen. Do not look at me like that. I thought we were friends"

"We haven't been friends since you killed innocent people to get to Uther." She takes a tentative step forward, but Morgana does not move, so Gwen steps back again.

"Gwen." Morgana stops for a second, looking down, a look of what could be regret creeping across her face, before regaining its usual, dark facade. "Gwen, I.."

"Stop. I.. I don't want to hear it Morgana. Nothing you can say will make it better." Morgana looks down, and again, Gwen thinks she sees something else on her face. Something she remembered seeing on her face from years ago. She looked up at her, their eyes almost meeting before Morgana turned away. Gwen looked at her questioningly.

"What happened to you, Morgana? What happened to the kind, gentle lady I met all those years ago? Because I miss her. I miss the Morgana who protected me, a servant, against the king. The Morgana who gave me time off when I was sick, or worried. The Morgana who worried about my love life and cared for Mordred when everyone else hunted him. The Morgana who rode halfway across Camelot to save people from another kingdom. The Morgana who fought alongside me and other commoners to save a handful of people. The Morgana who gave starving children food when you were starving too. The Morgana who..." she paused and took a breath, gaining momentum with every word, "who got herself chained to a dungeon wall for speaking against the king and comforted me when I was at my lowest. The Morgana who fought guards to try and save Arthur. Or the Morgana who tended to wounded children when you needed rest. I miss the Morgana who refused to leave me to die and the Morgana who begged Arthur to rescue me. The Morgana who always put others before herself. The Morgana who was always the voice of reason to The King and Arthur. When I looked in that Morgana's eyes, I saw hope. I saw kindness in her heart. The Morgana I knew would sacrifice her life for anyone, no matter what their standing. When I look into your eyes, all I see is anger and a cold, fearful heart. You don't care what happens to anyone. There is no love in your eyes anymore. No hope. You do not realize how much people cared about you, and they, we, cannot bear to see you like this. I'm worried that it was me. I cannot think of how I may have wronged you, but I worry that I did. Because, Morgana, if your one wish is to be queen and magic returned to Camelot, I support you. I have always believed that you would make a great queen. That you would lead the people in a kind and just manner, putting them above yourself. You would have been a much better ruler than Uther, and yet, here you are, acting just like him. Allowing your fear to get the better of you, and taking your anger against one man out on the entire kingdom. You stand where he once stood, ordering the death of innocent men, women, and children who have done nothing wrong. I don't understand Morgana. What happened to you? You used to be my best friend. You were so kind to me, the only person I had left. My parents, both dead, and my brother gone. Morgana. You were everything to me. You were more than just my mistress. You were my friend. Morgana. You were like my sister. And now, now I don't even recognize you. What did they do to you?" she paused again, looking at Morgana, but she would not return her gaze, "What did we do to you? Morgana. Look at me." Morgana tilted her head, eyes fixed on her shoes, but she made a slight movement, as if to tell her to continue, so she did, "I don't hate you, Morgana. What I told you before was true. I am loyal to you. But I cannot follow a woman who does what you do. I would serve, follow to my death, the Morgana I once knew. Your intentions are just. Your wish to bring magic to Camelot and be recognized for what you are, Princess of Camelot, is a worthy goal, but not like this. Not if it costs the lives of innocent people, Morgana. And so I ask you again. What happened to you?" Gwen took a long deep breath, and stared at Morgana. Morgana did not say anything. They both stood there for a long while before Gwen spoke once more. "Well? Either tell me or let me go to bed."

"It wasn't you." Morgana said, her eyes still averted. "Gwen, there are few things I have done that I regret. But I regret killing women, children, innocents. I regret listening to my sister when all she wanted was power," her eyes flit to Gwen, who was standing silent, a curious and almost surprised look on her face, then she continued, "Gwen, all I ever wanted was to be accepted. I admit, I may have gone too far in my quest for revenge. But, Gwen, the thing I most regret. The thing that I will never forgive myself for," she paused, and looked straight into Gwen's eyes, "Is that I hurt you. My sister had convinced me that you no longer cared for me. Gwen" she paused once more, her gaze not hesitating, "I swear on my life, that I will do everything in my power to ensure that no harm comes to you, your brother, or your friends. I swear, no harm will come to any innocents." Morgana looked down once again. She took a deep breath, then turned around and walked to the door. Gwen made a move to stop her as Morgana turned around once again, one hand on the handle, and looked again at Guinevere. "You too, Gwen, meant a lot to me. I have never thought about it before, but, when I did, I realized I too saw you as a sister. And one day, when Camelot is at peace again, with magic" she hesitated "and with me, we can once again be friends." Morgana made to leave.

"You never answered my question, Morgana." Gwen said, now in the middle of the room. "Lots of things Gwen. But not one of them was you. Don't ever doubt yourself." Morgana looked up, almost out the door now. "You have been a loyal servant and a most amazing friend. I will miss you." she turned back, and Gwen could have sworn there were tears in those once-cold eyes, "I am so sorry." Morgana shut the door behind her and Gwen sank onto her bed, tears rolling down her cheeks. There was something there that she had not seen in Morgana for a long while. Something she never though she would see again. It was the same thing that she saw when Morgana was with Mordred, or when she argued with Uther. And Gwen had a feeling that the Morgana she loved was returning. She blew out the candle in the window and layed down, sleeping peacefully off to sleep.

Meanwhile, Morgana stood looking over Camelot. She had tried to sleep, but Gwen's words played over and over in her mind. Morgana knew she had lost her way. Where, she was not sure, but somewhere her simple quest of being accepted turned into a massacre. She had lost sight of her friends. Her true friends. Not Agravaine, or Morgause. Gwen. And Gaius. And, while she sometimes hated them, Merlin, and Arthur. And all of the sudden, she felt a strange sensation, as if a wave had swept over her. A wave of remorse, of sadness, and of heartache. She ached for the time before. She ached for the late nights talking to Guinevere and the little duels with Arthur. She missed riding freely in the woods and picking flowers in the meadows. She turned as a man took her place on watch and sat against a tree. In the distance, she saw the last light, Gwen's light, go out in the town. She smiled, and layed back, her cloak used as a blanket, as she drifted off into the first peaceful sleep she had had for many years.