France vs Egypt: The Untold Story

France V Egypt

Whenever you read about the French trying to invade Egypt, you are reading the wrong story. The historians came up with what is in the history books because the true story was too crazy for them. This is the real story.

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It is July 1, 1978, and a man, with many figures behind him, trudges up a steep sandy hill to stand on the peak, trying to catch a view of the magnificent land. 

His white, tailored suit flaps behind him in the gusty wind blowing from the North, almost pulling him backwards. 

When he reaches the summit, he reaches up and removes his scarf, revealing his face. 

Seto Kaiba.

His eyes shift over the golden terrain, taking it all in.

"Yes," he says deeply, "this will be the perfect place for Kaiba Corporation's new headquarters."

In his left hand, he clutches a briefcase. It is very heavy but he doesn't let it show. 

Kaiba turns to his men and yells over the fierce wind, "Where is the leader of this beautiful country? I must battle him to take this land!"

All of the men cheered and unsheathed their card decks. 

They then proceeded to race down the hill with a battle cry of, "It's time to D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" raising their cards high. 

When they reached the bottom of the hill, a teenage boy was waiting for him. 

The boy's hair ended in pointy spikes, almost as if he had stuck his finger in a light socket although those had not been invented yet. 

A golden pyramid hung around his neck on a chain, clearly beloved to him.

"I would like to take this country and build a marvelous, new, Kaiba Corporation headquarters here," Kaiba states, twirling his french mustache between his fingers. 

"Well you can't have it," the boy says with no emotion showing on his face.

"Then I challenge you to a duel!" Kaiba yells, plopping his card deck down on a table in front of the boy. 

"You're on."

The boy eases into the chair opposite Kaiba and pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket.

"If I'm going to duel you, I ought to know your name," Kaiba says, trying to give the boy a false sense of security.

"Atem."

"Are you as small as an atom? Is that why your parents named you Atom?"

"It is Atem."

"Oh well, I tried. So if I win, I want you to give me Egypt."

"And if I win?"

"Then I leave you alone."

"Sounds like a deal to me."

They each drew five cards and sat there as a young boy with the same hair as Atem walked to the table and went, "1. . .2. . .3. . .GO!" before running away.

Many hard battles were fought, many battles were won. Blood was shed (due to the fact that one of Kaiba's cards gave him a paper cut when he dramatically smacked it down on the board thinking that he had won. Unfortunately, Atem's card beat it making it all be for nothing.) until eventually, Atem came out on top.

"Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" Kaiba yells in despair, his visions of a thriving Kaiba city fading into the black hole of despair.

"Penalty task," Atem states triumphantly, an evil smile on his face.

"Fiiiiiinnnnnne. What's my penalty?" Kaiba asks, his face on the table.

"You neeeeeeed. . . .to walk the subway trail and buy me a subway sandwich at the end!" (The Subway trail is an actual thing. Look it up.)

"Nooooooooo! Anything but that!"

"That is your penalty task."

"But I don't want to do that!"

Suddenly, a giant ship drifted into view, yet another teenage boy standing on the prow, his white hair bouncing with the waves.

Bekoura.

When the ship hit the sand, Bekoura jumped down and landed feet first on land.

He gallavants over to the table and pulls a lit stick of dynamite out of his pocket.

"Do what he says or I'll blow up you and your men," he says threateningly.

Kaiba lowers his face back to the table with a long, "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee.. . . . . . .What do you want?"

"I want a foot long cold cut with lettuce, green peppers, and ranch."

"Is that all?"

"And I want a large root beer and a bag of nacho doritos."

"You're cruel."

"If you leave now, you might make it in there in. . .Oh, say. . . . . .15 years."

Kaiba and his men walked away sad, Kaiba Corporation with $15.30 out of its pocket.

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And that is the true story of the French trying to invade Egypt.