Her

1

From up above I could see the people scattering alongside the road. They looked really small like the ants finding their food. This night looks so bright with the stars shone brightly. My favourite spot for a year of course at the rooftop of the school building. Here, in my place not many buildings have rooftop. 23:38.

The time would never stop, right? Ahh, how I wish it would stop just for a day. For me to run from all of this ... life. Being a student not really hard. What I'm stress about is being a human. Thinking about what my future would be. Or do I really have time to live as long as I can get old. I hope not. Don't want seeing myself as an old man. Don't want to work to keep alive. I prefer to die anyway.

"Come on Seth, don't be freaking suicidal, will ya? That's a very dangerous way to sit unless you want to die." I am wanting to die. What she knows exactly. She would never understand. Ever. "Raine, trust me I would not accompany you to your home. I'm ain't gentleman. Just leave me alone."

She sat beside me anyway while giving me a cup of hot chocolate. She always remembers what my favourite is. "Seth, never underestimated me, okay? You're just in a phase. A phase where you're confuse with the changing of your life. You're growing up, there's a lot of things that you never know, a lot of things that you don't even understand. Just never let it consume you."

I took a deep breath. What she said was good, I was almost smile. Almost. "So, tell me what yours fight? What are you fighting with? What was your battle?" I looked at her. Our faces were inch away. I could smell her lavender perfume. She always had a thing with lavenders. She was shocked, I could say. Her eyes changed. She was convincing herself that she could trust me. I want her to turn around. To not trust me. But Raine would be Raine, she then opened her mouth. "I tried to kill myself. In a really young age, I had the feeling of unsecure, the feeling that made you want to hurt yourself. I hate myself. When I was in primary school, I had a lot of friends. They are nice actually."

"So, what are the reasons?" The wind moved her long black hair made her brown eyes hide away from me to see. My hand moves on it's own to tuck her hair behind her ear. So much better. I could see her shiny eyes that look more confuse than ever. "Uh, sorry I didn't mean to, you know ..." What am I doing, I'm not thinking at all. She smiled and then lifted up her head to observe the stars up there. It was a full moon tonight.

"It started with my family, I guess. I always want to make them proud of me. I tried my best. But they don't even look at me in the eyes and praise me. Whatever that they had said to me was merely a word. I envy my sister. She always got the attention. My parents love her much more than me. So much that I was in doubt whether or not I'm their daughter."

" Do they know about your situation? The suicide I mean."

"They die before I could tell. I wasn't brave enough to ask. They die not knowing what I felt. After that, I died too." She began to stand up, "That's all for today, I think. Got to go. I promise I will tell you later."

After a goodbye, I looked down. Well, it's good to know that she was not walking home. There's a car picked her up. Come to think, this is the first time I saw her went home by a car. She always walking home before. And I with my bicycle will asked her to ride with me. Or we just walked together, her, me and the bicycle.

Never thought that we could be friends. I would never forget the day we met. Bon jovi. Need to thanked him if he was alive.