~Mc story mode stuff 4 :D

So this is basically minecraft story mode

(WARNING: LOTS OF SALT. This is purely satire and I apologize if I offend anyone. It's literally just a joke I promise -)

Meet Jesse, an awkward dork who just wants to win the building competition at Endercon, an annual event where them and their friends, Axel and Olivia, lose to The Ocelots every year.

We have Aiden, a literal actual arsonist who tries to kill people in the most over-the-top way possible.
There's Maya, the generic other one.
And Gill, the dumb but happy one who literally looks like he could be their father.

When Mr. Trigger-finger sets Jesse's pig, Rueben, ON LITERAL ACTUAL FIRE, Jesse goes after him and runs into Petra, and the two go into a spooky cave that Jesse should be really be careful about not being killed in.

But nope.
Just...stroll on in there.
I guess.

Once all that's taken care of it's time to meet Professor Snape but Not Magical and Not-Thor, - who used to look like the scarecrow from the Wizard Of Oz. They are both equally parts good and super cowardly. Professer Snape unleashes Hurricane Evil-in-a-bottle before taking Harry's invisibility cloaks and disappearing for like three episodes before he'll be relevant again.
Anyways, it's up to Jesse, Petra, Lukas, Rueben and the other two to save the day!
On their brave quest, the Player can choose to be an absolute jerk to absolutely everybody about absolutely everything! Why listen to Soren's song when you can just sneak out the back?
Or the Player can be super nice - so nice in fact that Patton Oswalt and Catherine Taber sounds like they're flirting with literally everyone I'm not even kidding -

Some of the fans love Minecraft Story Mode not for its grand adventure-scape, fleshed-out and likeable characters, and interesting twists the keep the plot going! But they mostly like turning the game into a Dating simulator and the fandom into a ship war.
The Lukesse and Luktra shippers should really just be put into a giant Get-Along T-Shirt and be forced to stand in the corner while they think about their sins.

Do you ship Jack and Petra? That's great! You know who disagrees with you?
EVERYONE.
But mostly everyone's really supportive!

(*Awkwardly shuffling away a bunch of comments of "ugh, they updated this instead of The Wolf Among Us?" And, "This game sucks")

Couldn't get enough of episodes 1-5? Well we have the Adventure Pack that's completely unconnected to the rest of the story that you have to pay an additional $20 bucks for even though it's part of the same game. We have an Awesome Murder Mystery where The Rose In The West Wing is the obvious murderer, the Brainwashing Society (Ya Know For Kids-) and the Hunger Games But Nobody Dies Ever. (Seriously those each of these are so cool can we please get more stories with these plots-)
And if you think THAT was a lot, just look at Season 2!

Featuring all of the same characters you love except none of them are in it! All of the likeable well-rounded good chemistried characters are now replaced with Batman's Robin, every action movie hero ever in the form of Pirate-Man, Pacifica Northwest, Rueben's replacement, and many others! Wonder what happened to everyone? Real life! Isn't that a fun escape from reality?
The writers up the stakes this season with an intense sea temple, a hidden underground society, an all-powerful being who is almost unstoppable, and now a whole TWO towns instead of danger instead of the whole world!

But why focus on that when we can shift the entire freaking plot to Petra and how sad she is about her friends not having enough time for her and seriously how does this never get resolved and how does no one give her the reality that they're still the order they're just adults now they don't have time to constantly adventure and HOW DOES PETRA KEEP WINNING THE ARGUMENT HANG ON-

Remember when your choices used to matter and have impact? Well, not anymore! The most impactful choice you have is at the very end with who you choose to go with - the rest of your choices are all just variations on the same exact subject, with one option being saying nothing! Remember when choosing things would lead to one character tragically dying or building up to who you would have as allies in a final fight? Neither does season two apparently!

And despite the many forms the villain takes whether it be a giant aquamarine guardian or a British Snowman you'll be so confused by the time he reveals his actual form that you'll be asking yourself "okay, but what's the catch?" He's like a riddle wrapped in a mystery trapped inside an enigma! Or something. And what are the capabilities of his powers? Who decided who would be an Admin? How long have Admins been around? If they're so powerful how can they die with just being choked ever so slightly?
Do you want these questions answered? Well me too!

Minecraft Story Mode has a good plot, awesome characters that click well, and a heartwarming theme of friendship and being positive and/or being a jerk! Like seriously you can be the most jerk-wad butthole and everyone will still treat you so nice that's not a good lesson for kids-

—
Hi hello this was hard to do and I feel bad now lol
Also I was gonna make a season 3 joke but that would be too mean x)

-Dawson