do you remember...

3

'I just want to go exploring, it's fine really I'll catch up with you guys later.' I try to convince the boys to let me spend lunch period alone.

The day had gone super quick, consisting of people coming up to me and asking how I was and if I'd want to hang out, and teachers congratulating me for my return. These were all people that knew me and looked up to me and expected me to be the same, but I wasn't.

The boys had been in all my lessons because they'd said we all picked the same lessons in the beginning of sixth form. I was glad I would have to face any lessons without them but I was still annoyed that I hadn't seen the boy from tutor.

I had searched for him all day but he wasn't in any of my classes. I just assumed we didn't have the same lesson until I realised how upset he looked in the morning and the thought came to me. He was avoiding me.

Now that I was alone I could look for him without seeming creepy.

What felt like hours went by and I couldn't find him so I decided to give up and go sit where no one could see me.

I ended up behind the school and there he was. Sat against the wall with a lit blunt in his hand. He still didn't notice me and I felt like a creep just staring at him from a distance so I decided to make myself noticed.

'Can I join?' He looks up and brings the joint to his lips. How did he look so gorgeous doing it. He didn't reply so I just went and sat besides him. 'Were we close?' I asked already knowing the answer.

'A bit.' That was not the answer I was expecting. I knew he was lying but I didn't want to push his buttons right now.

'Cool, so you going to tell me your name or am I just going to have to call you Mr. King?' I try to lighten the mood. I see a smirk form on his lips.

'I'm liking the sound of that, we'll stick with it for a while.' He blows out smoke.

'Well I'm Sylvia, it's nice to meet you... again.' I mentally face palm myself at how awkward I am. Surely I wasn't like this before the accident.

'Silver.' He corrected. 'Your names Silver.'

'So that's a thing everyone calls me, I thought it was just a little pet name for close people, it was starting to get weird hearing everyone call me Silver.'

'Its been your name for the past four years. You were a very rebellious 14 year old.' He says sarcastically. I laugh at his tone.

'So you've known me for a long time then.' He looks confused. 'You said I was rebellious, that must of meant you knew me then.'

'Everyone knew you. There's a difference between people knowing you and you knowing people.'

'Okay then, did I know you?'

'Does it matter if you don't know me know?' He avoids my question.

'I could get to know you. Plus if we were close then it could help my memory, the doctors think if I'm around people who I share memories with it could help.' Why was I telling him this?

'How long did they say it would take.'

'Five months max, if I don't get at least somethings back by then, it would mean I'd just have to start adjusting to this new life style.'

He didn't reply. After a couple minutes he handed me the joint and look at me for the first time.

'I used to smoke?' I ask confused. The smell hadn't made me choke or anything but I didn't want to look stupid and not be able to handle it in front of him.

'From the little knowledge I have of you, I'm pretty sure you did.'

I scoffed, 'little knowledge my ass. You do realise I lost my memory I'm not currently losing it, so I do remember this morning in tutor and let me tell you, that was not a reaction I got from everyone else with 'little knowledge' on me. So drop the act and tell me who the hell you were to me, because I get this feeling around you and it's freaking me the fuck out because I don't know you, I have no memory of you but it feels like I've known you my whole life and I know theres something everyones not saying about you. So if you don't tell me I'll have to find out the hard way, and that would just be more work for me to do.'

I had no idea where my sudden outburst came from and I almost felt bad for him because he seemed like he was just a sad person in general but I needed to know if this empty feeling in my body was because of him.

When he didn't reply I started to get up and leave. I felt so stupid, what if he really was no one to me? Did I just make myself look like an idiot in front of this gorgeous boy? 

'Jordy.' He said and I instantly stopped walking. I wanted to turn to look at him but I stopped myself. 'You call me- called me Jordy.' 

Called. 

Whoever I was to him was gone.

I turn to see his hurt eyes looking at me. 'You were the only one who was ever allowed to call me that and you loved how special it made you feel. And I loved that I could make you feel special, because it meant that in the midst of all the attention we got from everyone, I was still able to make you feel a way no one could and you did the same. But you've forgotten it all. And its my fault.' He whispered the last part so quietly that you wouldn't be able to hear it if you weren't listening. 

But I was listening.

What did he mean it was his fault? Was his the car that hit mine? Or was he in the car with me? No that didn't make sense, he couldn't have been in with me because it wouldn't be his fault. He wasn't injured or anything, but then again my injuries weren't visible to the human eye after two months. But no one spoke of him being in an accident and he seemed like someone people would gossip about. 

It was all too much to my brain to figure out right now. 

'I will remember Jordy. For both of us.' And with that I walked away unable to keep myself together.

He had just opened up to me about how we were before the accident. It was small but it was still a start.

And I knew it wouldn't be the end.