A slap on titan [Armin x Reader]

Episode 4.

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It was sunset, the days training already over. Most cadets were in the mess hall eating dinner, but you decided you wanted to get away from it. You were tired of Jeans constant picking on Eren, and Connie always comparing you to Mikasa. Honestly, you were so sick of them all.

Armin was always there for you when you wanted to vent about them, but he never did anything or tell them to stop, and it frustrated you. Pushing those thoughts out of your mind you continued walking down the long hallway. You heard angry muttering from around the corner. 'Sounds like...Shadis?' You pushed your back to the wall and peeked around the corner.

"I'm never going to finish these damn reports! Why did there have to be this many cadets!" You watched as Shadis stomped away, probably to torture some of the cadets. As soon as you saw his back round the corner you attempted to open his office door.

You yanked the handle, surprised she. The door swung open. 'It's not locked..?' You wondered. You pushed through the door, looking around.

"Its a lot cleaner that I thought it would be" you murmured. You looked at the desk, a familiar face on the top page. 'its Jeans cadet report! No, it's all of the cadet reports!'

"Jean, a smarmy douchebag who's very voice exudes a cock teasery of the highest offense!" You read aloud, stiffiling you laughter. "Has an obsession with lubricating his gear! Probably born out of some situation involving sexual impotence and a nursing home! He also has delusions of running the government, but couldn't run a sweatshop if he had 30 Philipinos and a metric fuck-ton of Adderall!"

"Marco! If Jean was bad, well then here's Marco! The 2 go hand in hand like sobbing kids and alcohol abuse! This particular assclown has delusions of being god himself! Fancies himself a leader and resolves conflict with corn bread, patty cake, bullshit that makes me pop a rage boner simply out of spite! Sometimes I beat him just to listen to him cry. Where's your god now you freckled fuck, where's your god now!"

"Annie! A quiet, stupid, bitch!"

"Sasha! A bumble fucking, idiot, potato loving feral dipshit who can't follow a single order! Talks to trees! I've tried multiple times to kill her by leaving her miles away in the woods, but wolves keep dragging her broken and starved body back to camp, almost as if they don't want her!"

"Connie! An angry, mean, pissed off little chihuahua! Watching him maneuver around corners is like watching a foul, determined little rat, running through a maze! Seriously! Just look at him! The mere sight of him is enough to piss me off!"

You skipped a few more reports before reaching someone interesting.

"Eren! A complete and total fuck up but unique in his own personal brand of failure! If his sister wasn't here to egg him on, he'd be useless! As he stands, he's a hair above useless!"

"Mikasa! A tactical genius unlike any other our empire has ever seen! In all my years, I have dreamt of having a star pupil like her! Someone who could lead, obey, and destroy with unparralled superiority! She is truly mankind's hero, a savior even! But she's a woman. Bad form!"

You scoffed, mumbling about the unfairness.

"Reiner! A retarded mongreloid fuck up of epic proportions! I'm 95% sure he is actually a cross between a gorilla and pure concentrated ignorance!" 'Can't really argue with that!' You thought.

"(Y/n)..." You read your name, eyes scanning over the report. You pushed the paper to the back of the pile, not wanting to read the commanders thoughts of you.

"And last but not least, Armin!" A soft smile grew across your face, but you didn't know why.

"This child is the ultimate culmination of human sin" you tilted your head but kept reading. "He is the most terrifying creature I have ever met! Seriously, this kid is fucked! Something is horribly, horribly, wrong with him. How cadet (l/n) could possibly love someone so twisted, so foul, so utterly fucked up beyond repair, is beyond me!"