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Worries

Keun-suk stood at the head of the class, he opened the book in front of him and started his lecture. Lonna sat with her chin resting on her hand as she stared out the window. Her loud thoughts made her tune Keun-suk out since before he had even walked into the class. We live under the same roof and attend the same school. It’s not like we don’t get to see each other. But…I miss Suga so much.

It had been almost a week since the accident happened and Suga has been busy running Seungwan to and from school, making it hard for Lonna and him to spend any time alone. Lonna didn’t want to admit it to anyone just how jealous she was. Noticing her spaced out look, Keung-suk stopped his lesson. “Student Lonna.”

Lonna jumped as she faced the front of the class. “Yes?” She could feel her heart beating in her chest. She had been trying to avoid him for the last couple days. Unsure of how to handle the conversation she wanted to have.

Keun-suk smiled warmly at her. “Do you need to take a break or walk outside? I’m fine with that.”

Lonna looked around the room at the many faces of her classmates, before she stared at her book, trying to will the blush to go away. “I’m okay.”

“Good. Let’s continue.” Keun-suk said. All the students went back to looking at the books in front of them as they wrote the notes down.

Come on, I can’t even pay attention in Keun-suk’s class. Lonna thought as she tried to find the page they were on.  She looked up at him as he taught and instantly felt a wave of guilt take over.

Once class was over, Keun-suk walked down the stairs at a quick pace, in a hurry to get to his car. Lonna ran down the first flight of stairs and sighed as she looked down at his retreating back. “Keun-suk!” Once she screamed his name out, he instantly turned around. Seeing her, a large smile spread his lips. As soon as she got to him, the smile faded. Lonna gave him a sad expression as she stared at him. “Sorry I was spacing out in class.” She apologized.

Keun-suk snickered as he broke the eye contact and looked down at his hands. “It’s ok. My class is boring.”

“Don’t say that.” Lonna said in an almost pleading voice. Suddenly, she grew quiet and turned her eyes away from him.

“Do you want to say something?” Keun-suk could tell by the way she was fidgeting in front of him, that she was suppressing herself. “Just say it.” He said as he climbed a step closer to her.

Lonna bit her lip as she finally looked up to him. “I used to really look forward to your tutoring sessions.”

Keun-suk chuckled. “But now you’re spacing out in class.”

“That’s because…”

“I know.” Lonna tried to explain, but he interrupted her. Lonna watched as he seemed to be working out how to say what he was thinking. “When I first saw the perplexed expression on you, I knew you were no longer the little girl who depended on me for everything.” He saw the sad look on her face and laughed to keep from copying her. “Seriously, I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m glad to see you have grown. But on the other hand…I’m disappointed. Is it because of Min Yoongi?”

Lonna could feel her heart start to beat faster with the mention of Suga’s name. For a split second, she tried to hide it, but quickly gave up. She was tired of holding in the secret. “You’ve got that perplexed look again.” Keun-suk said as he smiled kindly at her. “A bit of panic, and a bit of gentleness. You’re different now. When we went back to your old house, I realized…I was the one searching for the past. But you…are who you are now.” Lonna knew what he was saying even though he wasn’t saying it directly, it still made her heart hurt for him. “Don’t get me wrong…the way you are now is great.”