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Chapter 8 - The Wedding

Who would have thought that of all the challenges the past year that the biggest would be the event that was to bind Sonja and me together for the rest of our lives?

Early in the planning of the wedding was to determine who would stand beside us. Sonja was torn between her sister, Merrie and Tammy. It took a lot of pros and cons. She will never tell it but it ended up being her sister only because she knew that Merrie or Tammy would be put out if the other one was chosen.

There was no doubt who I would have stand up with me. The same man who pulled me out of the gutter and life and served as a role model for me every day at work.

Sonja only had one request of me after we decided that we would marry and live together.  That was us to visit the National Museum of African American History and Culture. I wanted to ask why, but I just said OK.

"Chris there will come a day that you will understand why I am asking you to do this" Sonja explained to me the next day. Your daughter will always be seen as a little black girl even when she is walking with you hand in hand. You need to know what we as a people have gone through since Africans arrived in the new world in the 1615.

It was an eye opening day. I was totally unprepared. The horrible treatment of these people was nearly unexplainable. Two hundred and fifty years of slavery and then more decades of Jim Crow in America and they survived. The treatment was nationwide as slaves were sold in nation's capital as well as Baltimore and other northern cities.

Sonja was a movie buff – more clearly a movie fan of musicals. She had chosen the wedding theme from the Sound of Music. As I stand there, the musicians stop and pause and then begin to play the open strains of the song. I walk slowly to her and she takes my arm as I smile. We wait for the place in the music where in the movie the nuns start singing 'how do you solve a problem like Maria' and start to walk back toward the chaplain.

We were all in tears as a video is played and Sonja sings Patti Labelle's song 'Somebody Loves You Baby'. I had no idea that she had recorded the song. At the rehearsal the wedding planner simply said that there would be a video played at that moment. About that time Chrissy got out of Tammy's grasp and came and grabbed me around the knees taking my attention away from my question of what it was.

Because I was so adamant that I would not go back to New Orleans, I wanted to make sure that I included objects from Christopher's life. My bouquet included some Indian Paint Brush from Alabama, White Magnolias from Louisiana and my favorite yellow roses.

The wedding cake alluded to Christopher's adopted New Orleans. There the wedding cake sometimes comes with an extra set of decorations. Silver charms attached to ribbons are baked into the bottom layer of cake. During the "ribbon pull," all the single ladies gather around to choose a string — and their fate. Each charm represents a particular destiny. Popular charms include a ring (next to marry), a heart (symbol of new love), and a four-leaf clover (good luck is on its way)."

Dearly beloved, the Chaplin begins...

The service progresses to the point where Chris says his vows. "Sonja, I can't put my finger on the minute that I began to love you. I tell everyone it was the day when you let Nadine go, but it was before that. The first day I met you in the clinic, I had tried to look beyond that smirk. On the levy I realized you were a real spark and every day since you have tried to prove that to me. Your kind words and love and concern at my personal loss helped me return to the life of the living. You took me to task when I deserved it and you loved on me as a sister when I needed you. While we tried to work on cracking through your tough exterior, I saw you open your heart of friendship to Brody and Gregorio making us all a real team. Before our friends today I am promising you that I will never leave you until you prove to my heart that you don't want me anymore. I look forward to loving only you, growing old with you and bringing new life together into this world. While others may address us as City mouse and Country mouse or Butch and Sundance, I will always address you as my beloved one and wife."

Sonja's vows.

I had determined that when the time came for me to say my vows to Chris that I would not cry. I straight forwardly say to Chris "since I was a little girl, I had dreamed that I would marry Prince Charming and God sent me you. Few women work side by side their husband and fewer women have actually put their life into his hands. I appreciate how you have been a loyal friend to me and our team at NCIS. I loved seeing you interact with the children at the hospital. I enjoy watching you as you cheer on your 'Bama teams and as you chow down on any dish from a 'Nola restaurant. I am thankful that you saw in me someone that you could love and be a husband to. I promise you to continue to allow our relationship to grow and look forward to the future as we expand our family and grow old together. I love you Christopher LaSalle and I will do my best to honor our marriage and our life together."

In some African American communities, marrying couples will end their ceremony by jumping over a broom, either together or separately. This practice was used in a marriage ceremony in the 1840s and 1850s at the ceremonies of slaves whom were often not permitted to wed legally. Its revival in 20th century culture is due to the novel and miniseries Roots. Our family's broom was created by my mom's sister. The lace bow tied on it came from the wedding dress of my mother's grandmother. The chaplain then announces us as Mr. and Mrs. Christopher LaSalle and Chris takes my arm and we jump in unison over the broom.