ghostly | sanggyun, yongguk (jbj)

[ii] seeing

"how could he just leave me... alone like this..."

the only time yongguk had been happy about his father having an intense passion for liquor was when he realised that the man would be out all night, and would leave his stash of the toxic liquid in the cooler. easy access; easy to steal and take to his own home; easy drinking.

now, to him, his house looked tipsy turvy, and everything spun at a gentle pace. "woah... i better be a-dying soon. this life is hard... without love. or support. affection. affection? affecshurr..."

he giggled to himself, before stumbling over his own two feet and landing face-first on the sofa. "mm... hyung, help me. please."

"help?" a voice called out, yet it sounded so echo-y that yongguk wasn't even sure if it had been someone in real life. "huh?"

he lifted his head, and his eyes widened. he suddenly felt sober as he glanced at the man standing in front of him.

in the exact same grey sweatshirt and distressed skinny jeans he wore the night he was stabbed, with his hair swept to the side like it always had been, stood sanggyun, staring down at yongguk with concern laced all over his face.

"a-ah! what the fuck?!" yongguk suddenly rolled onto the ground, not sparing any time to scramble away and sit up. "what... what?!"

he looked up, shocked to see the male still standing there. "yongguk, calm down..." he called out softly, yet this was clearly not the right situation to be calm.

"i-i... hyung? hyung?! is that you?! how drunk am i?!" yongguk squinted his eyes, and he hit his head repeatedly with his balled fist. taking a look at the small coffee table in front of him, he screwed his eyes shut, ready to bang his head against it.

"stop! yongguk!" hearing his voice so clearly and so softly messed with the younger boy's mind. "do you think i'd want you to do this, huh?! why are you hurting yourself?!"

yongguk, in his state of mind, wanted to scream at him. he wanted to tell him to "fuck off, because you're dead!". he wanted to run at him, to swear at him, to hit himself for his brain going so mad that he started hallucinating.

but he would only do that if he was sane.

he suddenly stopped, his fuzzy eyesight trying to make out the silhouette of the boy in the darkness.

"h... hyung?"

the gentle whimper sent shivers down his own spine. was he really going to talk to his own hallucination?

was this his own hallucination?

"yongguk... don't be scared..." the figure walked towards him, and the younger boy cowered away instinctively. "please don't... you can be confused, angry, anything but just don't be scared."

would my hallucination talk back to me, have a conversation with me? yongguk's drunk mind raced through crazy thoughts as the figure came and bobbed down to him.

it was sanggyun. sanggyun's face. sanggyun's slim eyes, sanggyun's thin nose, sanggyun's full lips.

sanggyun.

"w-what..." without warning, tears started falling down the younger boy's cheeks, his quivering body accompanied by his sobs. "hyung... i missed you so much..."

"i know," sanggyun mumbled, watching his boyfriend have a breakdown on the floor.