Faded

Day 1

I'm feeling lost
I don't know why and since when but I do
It's like falling into the ocean and drowning deeper in slowmotion
There aren't many things that make me happy
Did I change?
Is that why I feel this way?
Empty, left, sad

It's raining
Raindrops are running down my window
In slowmotion
It seems like everything is happening in slowmotion
Like it would never end
That feeling of emptyness

Empty
I would say that's the word that describes best how I feel
It's not that my mood is changing
It's worse
And I don't know why

I'm afraid
Afraid that my whole life will be like that
Getting up
Working
Feeling empty
Going back to bed

Why me?
Why now?
Is a normal life to big of a wish?
Probably
Not that other lifes aren't easy, but at least they aren't sad all the time you know.

They don't know that I often have to stop the tears from running down my cheeks
Why I am not smiling in fotos?
Because I got nothing to smile about
The last happy day was a long time ago
And
I
Just
Can't
Smile
Everyone can smile
I know
But I just can't

Was I happier when I was a kid?
Maybe
Because I had not yet understood the world
How it works
All the bad things
War
Pain
Death
Fight
Revenge
Disappointement
Emptyness
Sadness

They all say there's still love
But is there true love?
I feel like
Everyone will stop caring about you at some point in your life.