Despicable truth

LIFE OF THE WILD

June 21st 2015

My life was a wreck, kicked out of home. Dropped on the door step of my Uncle Toby who looked after me.
I felt like I had been reborn, turned into a whole new person. I dropped out of school, failed to go to college and turned to alcohol.

Everytime somebody seen me I was either high on marijuana or really drunk. It seemed as if there was nothing left to live for, I couldn't determine where I was half the time and struggled to remember what happened the night before.

It was beyond a joke when I realised I was in hospital because I had sliced open my hand on a bit of glass. The security guard stopping me from trying to leave.

Beep...   Beep...   Beep...

Goes the monitor.

That same fucking monitor that just wouldn't stop beeping.

The bright lights in my face, blurry ass vision and another sound that irks me.

My dad's voice growling me for being stupid and reckless at the age of 16.
Telling me I need to find better friends cause I'm mixed in the wrong crowd.

Being told that I am a statistical Maori brown girl and I'll be pregnant by the age of 17, solo mum, looking old and ragged.

I personally didn't give a fuck what he was saying at the time. I just wanted another drink.

My parents never meant any harm and I knew that. They always wanted what was best for me, always wanted me to do well for myself.

I fucked that right up.

Anyway today was the day I had started dating this guy.

Light smoky brown hair, hazel green eyes, muscles, the lot.

Pretty much your typical bad boy.
It was also the day I thought I had found the love of my life.

Instead of drinking and smoking by myself, I had a partner in crime.
Great booze, great smoke, great music and biggest of all great sex.

Soon as the night was over we would kiss wildly all over the room and fuck so hard the bed would break.

We would drink bottles of bourbon and cola, whiskey, vodka, gin, yagermeister, anything we could get our hands on. All for a good time.

We partied day after day, Sunday to Sunday.

For me I never wanted the party to stop, I was having the time of my life.

It all came down to that one person. That one man who lit up my world.
Sounds like the typical love story I know but I couldn't help it.

His charm, the way he smiled, his laugh... Gave me shivers of warmth.

I felt he understood me and knew what I was going through at the time. He respected me and knew my own boundaries. He knew me more then I knew myself.

When I went astray from him he reeled me back in, pushed me towards safety and held me when the dark times came around.

When I needed a break he provided that for me whilst still trying to get his own shit together. I was in love with a badass.