note/letter

I feel stupid not thinking this threw when you asked me... it was long distance. I always told my self never to date some far away... "it always ends bad and you know it" I should have knew not to.. but I did... look what you lead me up to!!! I'm sitting in my room crying and dieing on the inside while I selfharm my self. watching the blood drip down off of my legs onto the sheets of my bed... I can't believe I let this happen to my self why could I let self to say yes...now I know who you are... and I will not let you fool me again! you don't understand how much it hurts to know that wasn't good enough for!!! I was told I was loved by you... aka lies from your mouth!!! I was told you would never leave... aka lies again!!! I was told that you would never cheat...but yet once more it was a lie... so if you please I will go to this cilff tell you bye and wish you have stayed and jump!!! I will let the wind fly threw my hair enjoying my last moments while listening to you scream in fear from seeing my jump. but I will think to myself"you know this is better for and me if I was gone" then just fall to my freedom... o freedom so close yet so far away!!! but no I can't I can't let you bring me down like this! I must stay strong I must fight! I need to keep moving on! only because I know you are the one that lost the most when you left for the other person that you loved... 1/4/10

I am strong I can keep moving on with out you... yes I start to cry at times when people say your name or talk about you. yet still not as bad... I noticed that I'm happier with out you... and you are most likely happier with out me...I heard my friend told you about the cuts over facebook and that you felt bad... for all I know this is a lie just like all the others that had past by... but I don't care because I'm happy to be here with people who do truly love me ... my family and friends... and you my sir if you don't know if you are a friend or not well your not... you are nothing to be but another living being on the street that I do not know...

yes that is all you are to me... and I'm glad that is all you are... I well never want to be close with you. never again will I trust you... I didn't date people... I wouldn't date people... then asked me and I said yes... I gave everthing up... as me working so hard to get the other person I love and I can trust more then you!!!

1/10/10