EMOTIONS

Chapter 4 •• The Funeral

I eventually had to tell Bethany and Andrew what happened and why I wasn't at school on Friday. Of course they understood and they're coming to the funeral today. Mitch and I didn't go to school yesterday either and of course we won't be there today. It's going to be interesting when we go back. He wants to go back next Monday. I told him I'd stay with him until then so I won't be at school either. Mitch has been quieter than usual and I finally see what Victoria was saying when she said he had anger issues. His temper is so damn short!

Bethany and I got ready for the funeral with Victoria at her house. It was good to see her back to normal and out of the hospital. We all wore nice black dresses. Mitch was wearing a black tuxedo and let me tell you, he looked so fucking handsome in it! He was the most handsome human being ever! But, lately it seems like he hates me. He's been sticking around Vic and Austin. No one else. Not even me and I understand but it kind of hurts. It hurts that he's pushing me away and that he's hurting this much but I never expected this to be easy on him. I just didn't expect this.

I drove us all to the funeral. It was really hard on Mitch and Vicki especially when we buried her. I stuck by Mitch the whole time though. Never letting him go even though it seemed like it bugged him. I stuck with Beth and Drew though. Making sure they were never alone.

After the burial, I took Mitch, Vicki, Austin, Bethy, and Drew all out to eat. We went to Chili's. Vic and Mitch broke down. Good thing I was sitting right next to Mitch. I legitimately wouldn't let that boy go. When he started crying I hugged him tight and he snapped at me. "QUIT TRYING TO COMFORT ME. IT'S NOT WORKING. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE ANYMORE? JUST LEAVE!" It hurt hearing those words come from him but I didn't leave him. Bethany and Drew looked at me like I was nuts but he needed people to be there with him right now. I knew he did. So did Vic and Austin.

We all ordered but Mitch wouldn't eat. Another problem? Does he starve himself too?! Now that I thought about it, I never saw him eating at school. Just sitting at that one table all by himself. No one to talk to. All alone with the thoughts in his head. God knows what the poor guy is thinking now. After we all ate, I drove them home and Beth, Drew and I went to Starbucks since we didn't go to Cold Stone on Sunday. There was so much going on! Their car was at Starbucks anyway so after I ordered, I left to go be with Vicki, Mitch, and Austin. I drove to their house but as soon as I walked in, Mitch ordered me to leave. I pulled Vicki over and asked her why he was being like that. Her exact words were...
"He likes you, Kendra. He knows you care and he cares which is what scares him. The only people who have ever really cared were me and his sister and of course Austin. He's scared and he has a short temper lately. He's going to be like this for a while. Just please don't give up on my little brother like everyone else." I got tears in my eyes and went over to hug him. I whispered in his ear "Mitch, you're special. You're handsome and the sweetest guy ever. I'll leave like you ordered me too but I care and I'll be back." All he said was "good." So I left and went home to write in my journal. I wrote...
"Well, it'sbeen a tough couple of days. I now see what Vicki meant when she told me Mitch had a temper but I won't give up on him. There's something about him that makes me feel wanted, needed, alive. There's something about him that world is going to get to see one day but no one knows what it is yet. But, one thing is for sure... he's the most handsome human being ever!"
I wrote that last sentence with joy. It was a million times true.

I heard my phone buzzing somewhere so I went to go find it. It was Vicki.

Kendra: Hello?
Vicki: Kendra?
Kendra: Yeah, Vic?
Vicki: You're not going back to school until Monday like Mitch, right?
Kendra: Right. Why?
Vicki: Please stay at our house. Mitch and all of us need you more than ever right now. Even if he can't tell but the last few weeks leading up to Sel's death, he blocked everyone out except you. At least, that's what I know he was trying to do.
Kendra: Vic, he wanted me gone.
Vicki: Not forever.
Kendra: I never said I was leaving forever. Just for today. I was planning on going back tomorrow afternoon.
Vicki: Okay. I'll see you then. And thanks for all the help, girl. I love you.
Kendra: I love you too.