First Glance

Chapter 3 (Matt)

The next day was horrible. At lunch she looked at me. Scowled. Then went to sit by Poppy. Of course she would drop to Poppy's level. I will always give her the benefit of the doubt, though.

I sit by myself. Did I make a mistake? Should I not have gone to her house? How could I ever explain to her that I just really wanted to see her face?

She is so precious. I don't deserve her, but I want her all the same. I still have the pictures I took. Even with all the guilt, I couldn't rid myself of those pictures.

After a long day if thinking, with very small amounts of actual learning, I drive home.

I take a different route, just so I can pass by her house. I see her there walking up to the house. But she isn't alone. There is a boy with her. I catch a look at his face. It's Patrick, the jock.

Why is she with him? He is a jerk. He used to date Poppy, but got bored and dumped her. We all know that Poppy still has strong feelings for him, whether she admits it or not.

Patrick is the kinda guy who likes a girl one week, and a new girl the next. He only wants sex, but some girls can't see that. I feel like I need to take it upon myself to let Kasey know what she is dealing with.

I stop the car and rush out. "Kasey!" I shout at her. I rush to her before she closes the door. She looks up at me. And so does Patrick.

"What are YOU doing here?" Kasey asks me. She is looking at me like she hates me. I would understand if she did, I guess.

"Can I talk to you?"  I ask her "Alone?" I add. She looks at me. A minute goes by. She finally says "Would you give us a minute Patrick?"

"Just call me if he pulls anything." He tells her. "I will." Kasey flashes him a pretty smile.

Jealousy takes over me. "You should be careful around him. He just wants to take advantage of you." I tell her, trying to put meaning into my voice, so she believes me

"I think I need to be more scared of you taking advantage of me, not him!" Her face flushes with anger. "You are nothing but a peeping Tom!"

I'm stumped. Was that really what I was doing? I can't even wrap my mind around that. My mind slips away from me sometimes. It's really scary. There have been times when I can't even remember what I had done the day before. Then I heard weird things about my behavior the day before. I'm losing it, I can feel my brain gain less and less control of me as time goes by.

"I'm so sorry Kasey. " I tell her. "I didn't mean it. I just wanted to see you. I couldn't sleep. I didn't mean to scare you." Her face softens, full of sympathy. "Hey maybe I could give you my phone number." On the inside I'm screaming yes!! But I play it cool. "I would love that."

She smiles again. Man, I loved her smile. "Next time you can't sleep just text me. I have insomnia, so I am up late most night anyway."

"Thanks." I tell her. "Now about Patrick?"
"I will keep what you said in mind." This reassures me. Maybe she will tell him to go away.

Patrick is obviously tired of waiting for us. He walks up to us and pushes me out of the way. "C'mon Kasey." He glares at me as he pulls Kasey with him, into her house.

She looks back at me and says "Bye Matt." Just knowing she cares, even just a little, is enough for me.

She is so amazing. I love her even more now. I can't wait to see her on Monday.

It's Sunday evening. 5:00. I wonder if she would answer me if I text her. I'm going for it

Hi, it's Matt

Hi Matt, how are you

She answered me almost instantly. Was she waiting for me to talk to her?

I'm good. I miss you

I miss you too lol

Do u think u would ever go out with me?

Ten minutes have gone by and she hasn't answered. I wonder if she is grossed out by what I asked her.

An hour now. She is ignoring me in sure. I almost can't face the fact that I may have scared her off. But, of course only I could ruin the chances with such and amazing girl.

Hi. So sorry busy helping my little sister. Yes I would actually

My heart skips a beat. Maybe she does like me after all.

Great. Next weekend?

I'm busy then. The Next?

Yes I think that works

Great. What did u have planned for us?

Shit. What did I have planned for us? Movie... mall... dinner ... all of the above?

Have you been to CJ's place yet?

No what is it

A really yummy restaurant. I want to take you there next weekend

Okay sounds great. I gtg take care of my sister now. Bye

Bye

She is amazing.  I can't believe I actually have a date with her. I grab my camera out of my bag and flip through my pictures of her. She is gorgeous.

I feel like I'm slipping away again.  My conscious mind takes control. I go into the place where I feel the most alone, and the most myself. I lose myself into the darkness that has penetrated my soul since I was young. I fight it, but I give in.