Inked Heart

Never Love Not You

Joanne, can we meet up for dinner? There's something I need to tell you while I'm still in town.

Joanne stared at her phone.

She stared at her phone for so long she didn't realize that everyone in the office had crowded around her to see if she was okay. But that didn't matter because he texted her.

"Jojo!" Gab finally yelled out to get her attention.

She shook her head and looked up at him. Her eyes still wide in surprise, taking in the sight of everyone looking back at her with concern written on their faces.

"I'm fine. Sorry. What's up?"

"8 PM na... Uwi na tayo," Sharmaine said. "Diba may dinner tayong tatlo tonight?"

Joanne shook her head again, trying to focus on the people in front of her and what they were saying. "I... I can't go tonight. I'll join you guys another night? Next week?"

Everyone else had already dispersed, but Gab and Sharmaine looked at her with worry still on their face. It wasn't like Joanne to not be mentally present. Sharmaine took a seat on the open chair across Joanne and leaned forward.

"Anyare?"

Ever since Joanne's promotion to assistant brand manager, her personal life took a back seat. As hard as she worked to send money to her mom, she never reconciled with her dad, and her family was no longer a priority. They hadn't been since her brother passed away. The friends she made at the boarding house and tattoo parlor were mere memories of past acquaintances. And the boy she left behind, she never looked back on.

"Gio," she answered.

Sharmaine and Gab knew who he was. He was the reason Joanne took so long to get her promotion. What normally took people 2 years took Joanne 5, and it was because 3 of those 5 were spent in what people called toxic.

And toxic it was.

So toxic, it took two break ups.

The first one was messy beyond belief. It wasn't a clean cut and neither of them wanted a clean slate. Gio still acted like the boyfriend and Joanne, having been so attached, didn't mind. Until she wanted more. She never did ask for more because Gio eventually left for London. He finally got his big break and who was Joanne to stand in his way.

So she dropped him off at the airport, thinking that that was it. The end to their story. The clean break the both of them so desperately needed.

Until Gio called a few weeks after, showing Joanne around London while on a video call. And then it became routine. He'd call when she was about to sleep and they'd update each other on their days. At first, she was skeptical about it because she didn't want to get comfortable with the idea of them. But in the end, she was hopeful that this meant they'd finally get back together.

As the weeks turned to months, Gio and Joanne continuing whatever this was, Joanne was mustering up courage to tell him to come back. Except he beat her to the punch.

"Come to London."

Joanne stared at him through the screen. "Paano yung promotion ko?"

He looked at her, knowing that he was asking her too much. He knew he passed his boundaries but he could never really let her go. The past year of being in London, of acting like a long distance relationship without actually being a relationship, of being totally and completely still in love with her... it ruined them.

Gio was the one who broke things off for the sake of Joanne, but he ended up being the one dependent on her after all they did. As much as he told himself that they weren't together for her well-being, his actions never matched.