Whispers (Carl Grimes AU)

Chapter 4

The days pass quickly as I wait for my knee to heal, and I find myself wishing they would slow down. The place was beginning to grow on me, and so were the people. Maggie came to check on me almost every day. She asked me the same questions every time, and then took a quick look at my knee.

"Any pain?" she would ask, even though my answer was always yes. "1 to 10," she would say, and I would rate my pain. The number was going down slowly, but at least it was going down.

My last visit, she had a new question, one she'd never asked before.

"Have you been sleeping okay?"

At first, I thought it was silly. Did anyone sleep these days? But then I remembered that my sleeping patterns had, in fact, changed since I'd gotten there. I looked down, trying to hide my blush, and Maggie smiled knowingly.

"Rest is more important than you would think. Sleep deprivation can lead to hallucinations, even death." I nodded.

"Good to know."

I didn't tell her why I was staying up. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Carl had asked me not to.

"Have you had any nightmares recently?" she asked me, and I immediately shook my head, knowing that wasn't the reason for my lack of sleep.

"No, I... wait." I remembered something. "There was one." She nodded.

"What was it about?" I bit my lip, shaking my head.

"I don't remember. I woke up screaming," I vividly remembered that part. I remembered shaking violently, and I remembered being very afraid. "I was really scared, but I couldn't remember why... I think I was running away from something." She nodded again.

"Well, I think nightmares like that are common these days. That's the only one you've had since you've been here?" I nodded. "Okay, well try to get some extra rest tonight, you look like you need it." I chuckled.

"Thanks."

I knew I wasn't getting extra rest that night.

Despite not taking her advice, I liked Maggie. She was sweet, and she obviously cared about people, or she wouldn't have been so kind and helpful toward me. That was something I didn't get for a long, long time.

That night, I laid awake, waiting for what I knew was to come. I couldn't possibly sleep, how could I? Most days, I slept when the sun was up, making it possible to stay up for hours when the sun went down.

A soft knock on my window caused me to jump slightly, my heart racing as I sat up quickly. Looking at my window, I see Carl's face, and he grins, waving at me. Naturally, a smile spreads across my face, and I go to open the window for him, grabbing his hand and pulling him through. He smiled down at me.

"Hey, beautiful." I blushed. He had called me that a couple times. I refused to let it phase me in any way, or at least let him know it did, so I covered up my blush with a scoff, hoping it was believable.

"Don't call me that," I mumbled, looking everywhere but his eyes. Since I wasn't looking directly at him, I couldn't tell for sure, but I swore he was grinning.

"Why not? It's just a compliment. And besides, it's the truth." His further comment made my cheeks heat up even more, and I looked away in attempt to hide behind my hair.

"Okay, well, I don't like it." This time, I knew he was grinning.

"Liar." I huffed.

"You're such an asshole," I breathed, finally meeting his eyes. He still smiled.

"I know."

Carl and I had grown much closer over the past days, sharing more and more personal information and demons with one another with every sneaky visit. I hadn't told him about my real demons, the ghosts. But everything else was completely out in the open, including Sophia's death possibly being my fault.

"I don't think it was your fault," he had said. So quickly, I disregarded it, looking in the opposite direction.

"Okay, well you weren't there." I was sure it sounded rude after it came out, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Death isn't ever anyone's fault. Even murder, not when you look at the big picture. Death is just a part of life, and when it's someone's time, it just is, and no one can change it."

I hadn't given his words much thought, but something about them just hit me hard.

Tonight was different. Unlike all the other times, we sat criss-cross on the bed, facing each other, only about a foot apart. Usually, we laid next to one another, sometimes touching and sometimes not. But tonight, Carl seemed different, slightly on-edge.

"You're being weird," I finally commented after some time, but he just chuckled. I waited for him to respond, but he never did.

"How's your knee?" I knew he was attempting to change the subject, but I let him get away with it.

"It's fine," I answered. An awkward silence followed, so I filled it with an extended response. "It's getting better. Healing. I mean, it's better than it was." He chuckled at my nerves, so obviously high, just as they always were when he was around. I felt my cheeks heating up again. "I can walk, now, at least." His brows went up at this remark.

"Really? Like, far?" I nodded.

"Yep. I get my stitches out in a couple days, so it's mostly healed. I just have to make sure I don't trip or something and pop them." I expected him to be excited, but instead I see him biting his lip. While it might have been a bit of a sight to see, I found myself frustrated. His lips looked soft, the way the bottom one caught on his teeth. I couldn't help but wonder how they would feel against my own.

"What?" I finally asked, snapping out of my frustration and mentally cursing myself.

"Would you wanna go somewhere?" These were the last words I expected to hear from him. Carl never wanted to go anywhere, but I guess that could have just been because of my knee. Still, he always seemed to enjoy being in the house.

Maybe he just liked being around me?

"Ellie?" His voice brought me back, reminding me of his question.

"Yes, I'm sorry," I apologized, and he grinned.

"Don't be. It'll be fun, I promise." I smiled back at him, though I couldn't help but wonder... Was his smile just the same when I wasn't around?