lil peep; i can't see you're falling for me

in highschool i was a loner;

your pov
______
    I'm drowning in this sea of people. mindless preps. I'm an outcast, and quite frankly, if 'fitting in' means my common sense goes to hell, if rather stay a nobody.

"whoops." a guy's voice teased from behind me, my books fell out of my grasp onto the floor as he knocked them out of my hands. "books fell right from ghost girl's hands." it was Zeke Harris. the biggest asshole at this school, and that's saying a lot.

I ignored him as he walked away while receiving high fives amongst his other friends. maybe one day I'd burst at the seams, erupting in a fit of rage and show these losers, but today, I'm still holding onto the threads.

"hey,uh, girl." another male voice said from behind me. something told me not to turn around, but his tone. it sounded different from Zeke's...from everyone's. "you dropped this."

reluctantly, I turned to face the voice behind me, it was someone is never seen before, someone unlike anyone I've seen before. his face and arms were littered in beautiful tattoos, his hair half pink, half black. in his hand, he held one of my poems. one of my idiotic poems about celebrities, some were serious, and some were plain stupid. I could only imagine whose poem it was.

oh god...

my face turned bright from embarrassment, "t-thanks." I turned to walk away from the stranger, too scared to look at which poem he had picked up off he floor.

"I like Gerard Way too. " the boy continued, keeping up with me as I walked to lunch. "I was him for Halloween once..."

why was he talking to me? I'm nobody.

he chuckled at himself, pushing no the cafeteria doors open, still following me. "everyone thought I was Eminem.. I said, 'No,bitch, Gerard Way.' "

I couldn't help but chuckle, the boy with the tattoos and pink fringe was adorable.

don't fall for him. don't.

I'm assuming he picked up my Gerard Way poem. wonderful.

the guy sat down on an empty bench away from the big crowds that surrounded us, pulling an apple out of his hoodie pockets and taking a bite. "sit with me." he said so easily, no second thoughts, no hesitation. he was so unapologetically forward. I liked that. he was refreshing. at least you didn't have to beat the truth out of him like most guys.

I forced a smile, sitting beside the boy, studying the tattoos on the side of his face in admiration.

"what's your name?" he asked, casually as ever. but then, he noticed my stare and shied away a little, a light pink shade forming on his cheeks.

shit, he probably thought I was judging him.

"y/n." I finally said, a small smile creeping on my face again, silently trying to communicate that I wasn't criticizing him, but he didn't seem to notice.

"I'm peep. " he smiled sheepishly.

I giggled a little under my breath as he grinned. he had such a lovely smile. "peep?" I questioned, making him chuckle again.

"that's what my mom always called me, I guess it stuck." he explained, acting a little embarrassed by my reaction, "you can call me Gus if you want.."  

"no I like it!" I interjected, returning the smile back in Gus' direction. "it's cool, but why 'peep' ?"

he laughed, throwing the apple core into the trash bin beside him and focusing his full attention back to me. "honestly, i don't really know what a 'peep' is. my mom just always called me 'peep' or 'peepers'. I've just gotten used to it I guess."

my eyes traveled back up to the tattoos on his face, admiring every stroke of ink that encircled his skull. noticing my eyes burning a hole in the side of his face again, he looked away shyly. a small frown began to line his face.

"I love your tattoos." I said shyly, trying to coax him to look back over at me. normally I hate it when people make eye contact with me, but not with Gus. I'd known him for no more than an hour, but still, there was something about him as a whole that had this magnetic pull.

peep's eyes lit up, "you're not disgusted by them?" his face fell slightly.

I smiled, this time genuinely. "no Gus. I love them. " seeing as he didn't look convinced, i unzipped the hem of my pant leg  to reveal a large My Chemical Romance tattoo that took up almost all of my calf.

"no shit!" Gus laughed, gawking at the tattoo with a goofy grin, "making mine not look so bad." he joked.

I shoved him playfully, "I was like, 12 okay?" I paused, before bursting out laughing again, "you can't talk anyways! Gerard Way Halloween costume boy!"

Gus' face brightened with laughter, I really could tell the genuine happiness in his smile. when he smiles through pain, his eyes are dead. but this was him beings real. his rich brown eyes twinkling with life. it's like he's an open book, but he isn't? I find it so easy to know him, and it hasn't even been 2 hours. but when that smile was real, damn. I felt a brick from my wall crumble.

the final bell rang, and that's when I noticed. all the jocks and poppies were staring and me and Gus. some were stifling their laughter with their hands, and some just didn't care.

Gus looked back to me apologetically, glancing around the room at the teasing students. "my bad...you probably shouldn't hang around me."

I saw the pain behind his eyes, I saw the meaning of the tattoos scattered across his face. he was like me, just tryna hold it together.

"Gus..."

"it's alright. " he interrupted. "I don't wanna make things worse for you."

I wasn't able to open my mouth in time. my mind said to let him go, to not get him tangled up in my shitty life. but every fiber I had in me wanted him to stay. but my mind took over, and before I could get a word out, he walked away.