Honestly sometimes I don't even know who I am, I feel this darkness inside me. Since childhood I've felt it, I wonder if its grown. I don't know if I'm bipolar or what, but I know there's this part of me that scares me. Sometimes I envision myself floating in this dark eternal universe wondering whose body I am in, how did I get here? Then I wake up to reality. Yes this is my body, whose else could it be? I'm afraid of attachment because I've watched as the people I most cared about leave me, I was always the puppy in every friendship I ever had. Always wanting to please my owner, see their smile. And then I learned the hard way that relationships like that will only cause me heartache and pain. Yet still I feel alone? I'm not ugly and infact I'm confident I could get any man to bow before me. Yet with each one its the same, wanting me for my beauty and not my heart. So I used them in the same manner they did me. I carry a dark secret with me, its a burden that holds me back from life. No one must know, for it might be the most grave sin I have ever commited. I am nothing but a sinner, since birth I was born with this darkness. I remember as a child I had this imaginary friend, Fiore. He like me was lonely and felt like an alien in this world. He understood me, and he too had that darkness inside him. Some part of me believes he was real, that only I could see him because we shared that small part of darkness in our hearts. Is it strange to say I truly loved him? For he was the only one who understood. Maybe one day I'll see him again in the afterlife.
YOU ARE READING
Wicked Games: Dancing with the Devil
RomanceDeirdre has always felt this darkness inside of her as if a reminder of her grave sin. Around family and friends she is the bright and caring Dreia, but behind closed doors she is the girl with a dark inside that only the one who put it there can me...
