GOD'S GIFT

Begginning to Adoption.

This is for the friend who told me to write this.. You know who you are.

..........

Greetings I'm Keoni. Its one of my legal names I can use.

To begin with, on June 1 72 was born a baby in back seat of a car. on Oahu Hawaii,, who's mom didn't want to go to hospital.

A police officer told her if she refused shed be arrested for murder.

Time goes by as always does. It now 2 years later. Dad left us to Texas.

One day as he was at a gas station he was murdered. Stabbed to death by a friend he knew.

It hit mom hard cause after that she changed. She became incestuous. And Abusive to me. ,.And had others do same.

From being told that ever sexual advance was out of love and never say no. Ever, no matter what.

Now, at 3. You normally do as told. So for 3 years on and off. I was raped, tortured tied up. whipped. sexually loved by neighbors and mom relatives.

Sexually loved was their way of making incest and molesting good n loving.

I do admit at time yes I loved the attention. I really felt loved.

What kid who has never felt any real love say omg this is wrong. I was told never say no. To do as say. If I did say no or wasn't nude fast enough I get a beating.

At times Id get one just cause mom was pissed at something.

I wasn't even ever allowed to call her mom mommy or say love you.

I was forced to call her by first name only she did same.

Many times she left me with baby sitters for days. And on the apt fire escape. Not the kind outside. But those cold cement ones inside.

I've been deathly afraid of open high spaces.

I love flying, crossing suspension bridges. But I hate open balcony over 5th story.

When flying in dreams the highest is 2 story high.

Other punishments included tied to bed naked for all to see.

To stand nude in corner with hot red jalapeño pepper or a pickle in mouth till all was gone.

Now one may wonder why nude?

it's. concept of humiliation and all.

But it had a backfire affect. As I got older I researched nudism. I understood in some way. Nudity wasn't all bad. It was how one did it.

Such as a resort colony with beaches.

Home alone. Harmless.

This lasted till I was 6 I was taken in by a foster family who I thought would adopt me. I had been with them from age 4 to almost 6.

We went camping hiking they lived on Hickam air force base on Oahu.

One of the things we kids did was out of a movie.

We'd. look down at the hangar loading area.

Wait till was clear. Then run down the hill sneak in.

Find boxes of luggage tags. We thought they were tickets.

We would take hundreds of them once a week and pin them our club house wall one of the kids made.

We never did get trouble.

One day a friend he was close to my age.

We saw a guy out side his place.

He asked us over. Gave us gum.

Asked us in. Within a few min he had us nude on floor giving us massages.

We didn't know what he was doing was wrong. 1 cause being told you cant say no.

2. I was with my friend who prob was molested before cause he too never said stop.

We were in hid back yard he did other things.. He was not abusive as sex. But it forever changed us. At least to me.

My friend and. I started play games nude. And other things.

We never told anyone bout the things we did and that we were molested.

If we had, maybe things,would have been different.

The time came for my family to move. What I didn't know is they didn't want me.

They made the transition to new home easy. But still I was once again moved to another home.

The last family id have. From 20 foster home to finally being accepted.

My new mom was told I was molested and more.

She said it didn't matter. I'll love him as he is.

It was to be up and downs for all my life.

But a new adventure awaited me.