The Truth in His Leyes

Beautiful Disaster

If there was a name; I'd call him Ocean,
He came into my life suddenly like an explosion.
His lips were fierce; his actions were clever,
& his eyes glowed like emerald of a charming endeavor.
I wanted to get lost, inside of his mind,
Not knowing about the safe life I'd leave behind.
I let him be the one I needed to get through the day,
I let him be the one who told me yes or no and cause delay.
His kisses were sweet like the purest, sweetest wine,
His touch was so gentle that heaven couldn't have felt more divine.
My heart was struck on gold, so bright diamonds couldn't out-shine,
The love I felt for him was the most glorious at the time...
the hours turned into days, and days into weeks,
I rushed home from work just to hear his "I love you" in streaks.
It hurt like a bitch when he talked to that girl,
It felt a little better when he told me only I was his world.
I was swimming in this paradise that I thought I was in,
Just to be submitted to the truth I didn't comprehend.
I couldn't change what had been done,
He gave me life, my only son.
It hurt like hell when he chose a drug,
The man I was marrying, the one I put no one above..
he came home again, this time he swore to stay,
It wasn't too long before I seen his truest way.
Despite all the pain that was chaos inside,
deep in my heart I felt was where he always reside.
I could no longer believe in anything else,
"Don't say that about him", "you don't know him like me", "he doesn't have to work I'm not after the wealth."
My family stopped talking, my friends were those whom with I no longer joked,
"God they're so stupid", they act like they've never been choked!
I'll be alright, he promised, there's progress he's trying,
It hurt like shit the time I found the proof in text to prove he was lying.
This time it's different, he still thinks I'm beautiful,
He says that one day we will have this world wrapped up, only us they will rule.
I believed a man who's charming features and tasteless lies could've cost my life,
It's different this time though, the knife didn't puncture organs.. ILL BE HIS WIFE.

How stupid can I be, my thoughts are numbing,
I lay in this bed and hear the beats of my heart and oxygen machine running.
No one beside me, no one to cry to, no one to tell me "you're just young",
I want to go home, I want to be normal, with him I want to be done.
He took more of my life, than my life had in existence,
Hard work, dedication, motivation, friendship, real love.. gone from his persistence.
I thought for 2 years that it would be okay this time,
I thought for 2 years that he was capable of committing no crime.
His hands should have held me, not hit,
His actions should have boosted me, not put me through shit.
His words should have healed me, not break my heart and my trust,
His eyes once held what I thought was my love, but turned out to be lust.
His lips should have smiled at my beauty, not purse at the sound of my voice,
I should've listened to the people tell me I would one day be a ghost, I thought I had no choice.
The manipulation was a fishing rod merely consistent of broken promises,
I fell every time over and over again for his lies just to "sleep with the fishes".
I died that day, and it didn't hurt, but it's different this time,
He can't hurt me anymore, can't kill me again, and I'm strong enough to give you this sign.

Domestic Violence Hotline ‭1 (800)799-7233‬
Drug Addiction Hotline 1(877)684-4053
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1(800)273-8255