From The Dining Table

Since you went away

[Read with the video playing for deeper experience]

Sitting on the porch, an old radio was on. Suddenly, your voice fulfilled the entire air. I was rocking my chair, watching the car passing by, breathing the calming rain. We used to love this place. So far away from everything.

Our holidays were spent here, always running after each other through the green grass that covered our smiles, and under the setting sun that flew us through its orange color, just like you did once, whenever we'd lay down, tired of all the ado we created. Everything was silent. But we had each other's hand to grab. We always had us.

Everything was so colorful. The breeze hit our faces and we'd close our eyes to feel it, to rest. We fell asleep then. But when we woke up, our children were shaking our shoulders, begging us to play with them. We'd get up and our running restarted again. Our laughter was followed by another three little angels. Everything was so fast.

You were always gone. You had to. But you also would always come back home. As soon as we imagined, everything was fine. But we never thought about the distant future and how we could've slowed it down. I never thought the world could be so gray.

It's night now. The grass is black. The sky is full of stars carefully chosen by you. The rain is your tears, stubbornly falling just like mine wash my face every time I think about you. The little angles are gone to fight their own battles. They must, it's okay. But you're not here.

And this time you won't come back smiling, dying to hug and to love me. All there's left is your recorded and trapped voice. Your pictures hanging on the wall. I didn't say one word after your passing. I don't know how I sound anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. All these cars passing...

Remember when we used to argue? I wish we had enjoyed more our time. Remember, however, how we used to sit in this exact same porch and listen to our shared favorite song? This one playing right now on this old radio. It hurts so much now. But we were beautiful.

I never had the chance to say thank you. But now you know everything, I guess. It won't take long for us to meet again and run through heaven's garden. When it happens, I'll make sure we go a little bit slower, though. I'll have so much to tell you. Until then, we keep crying. Sky and Earth. You will always be.