One shots//English

Honest

Dear Y/N,

I'm feeling it's time for me to write down on a piece of paper how I'm feeling about our relationship since I first met you. We were best mates since high school and our relationship evolved into more in the past years, past months. Then, we had this huge row, this big fight that got us parting ways. Thinking about it, I knew I hurt you, I knew that you are probably destroyed inside. But,on the other hand, I regret all these little things I've done, these words that I shouted without any particular reason, just because I was angry at you. We set the bedroom on fire, burning of happiness once and now throwing all the good things away. I hope you'll receive this letter in the next couple of days. I want to know what life brought you since you left me alone in my big luxurious London flat. It's hard to tell our feelings on a simple piece of white-lined paper. Could you please accept to meet me in this coffee shop on Adelaide Street. We could warmed up ourselves around some hot chocolate in this beloved place we used to go near your own apartment? Would you say yes?

with all my love,

Liam xxx

I was hoping from the bottom of my heart that she would give an answer to that letter and coming over to join me. It wasn't her fault really, from what I knew. I had to mirror this image to the society, the image our management wanted me to be. Modest, these horrible and vile snakes forced me into this glamour and fake superstar life. I was feeling so ashamed. This girl helped me to see how life can be simple, with the highs and the lows, with the challenges and easier footsteps. She wanted a family, raised with good values. I messed that up cos I listened to these managers, caring only about money and fame.

I found myself in a devilish position going and hopping to one relationship to another because of the agency. From the deepest cut of my heart, I've always loved her.

All that I've said in that letter was written with precaution and consciousness. Everything was true and she shouldn't think it was entirely her fault. I just hoped she would be okay after all. I mean, it wasn't my intention to say these horrendous sentences and breaking up with her.

I hated myself so badly. I was waiting, sitting comfortably and sipping my hot coffee. Thoughts were flying all around my head. I was crossing fingers. I wanted to win her back despite everything that happened. Nervosity was growing up on me and my heart pounded so heart in my muscled body.

She was standing, her long dark blonde hair flying with the wind, near the entrance of the coffee shop. I've hoped with all my heart that everything that we broke will be fixed soon. I knew it was going to be difficult. Forgiving someone is not a thing that is being resolved in a second. I just wanted to explain myself to her, being honest about my feelings. She deserved all the love in the world.

She walked closer from the small wood table where I was sitting down. I was shaking a little bit, being nervous, trying to not show it. She sat in front of me, dreaming and sad. I wanted her to listen to every bit, every word that I had to say, all the excuses i had to make. Yes, everyone can do mistakes, but I'm swearing to god, that despite all the storms that we fought for, in between all the obstacles, she was the one and only in my heart. We had a long discussion, our hands and fingers entertwined slowly. I wanted her to know how I've regretted all the things I've said and done and that I was keen to give her everything she wanted. She dreamed to get a normal life, with the man she loved, with a closed and tied-strong family. She hoped to have a man near, to be there for her and to take care of her future children. My career shined all over the world and I had to run throughout every corner of the entire planet, under the scrupulous glances from the cameras, for concerts and promo tours. It was impossible for me to make any promises to her. She became angry and couldn't handle the situation, so she left, barely without some words.

This meeting sitting by with a strong cup of coffee was my last chance to explain how I felt and finding a solution. She was looking deeply in my big brown eye. She drank every bit of what I was telling her, all the mean things that were burning in my heart, all the feelings that I was hiding in the deepest corner of my heart. I saw her face, emotionally drained with a little tear dropping on her sweet rosy cheek. It had killed me to see her suffering like that, but she needed to know the truth. My career was my entire priority and I didn't want her to be affected by that.

Being in that public neutral space was the best to discuss in a calm, quiet way. I had to push aside my egocentric attitude, explaining myself and understanding what she really needed.

How to get her back? How to avoid that she could be leaving me for good. How to convince her that my lies won't get to her again.

I had no excuse for all the cruel things I've made. A couple of minutes later, she grabbed her purse, telling me that she had an emergency with her sister who needed her immediately, well maybe it was true, maybe it wasn't. She looked at me with steamy, teardropping eyes with all the rage and sadness she could have had. I didn't moved, sad and worried at the same time, seeing her going away again.

Will she ever come back to me? Will she make up her mind and walking away for good after I told her the truth? After all, I've just been honest.