👌 japan (the band) shitposting

✨ 02. smash that like button ✨

" you guys i've called you all to this meeting for a totally important reason " david threw himself onto the table, posing seductively. " as we all know it is 1980. the year of youtube. so i was thinking... why don't we all start a youtube channel for our band? if anyone has any video suggestions, raise your hand. "

steve raised his hand. " fuck you steve nobody wants your lame ass ideas " whined david. but then he thought about what his cool japanese crush ryuichi would think, so he said " nevermind loser state your idea "

" lets do a bottle flip trick video. i think the fans will love it " steve spun his cool rainbow fidget spinner and dabbed.

" wow steve thats the only good idea youve ever had. i am pleased. " david thought that he should be a nice person more often, because it may pay off, but then he remembered that it was exhausting and he preferred being a bitch. " mick do you have anything? "

" yeah " said mick, eating vegemite from the jar. " how about we do a prank video? "

" this is why you're my favorite mick. what about you rich? " david rolled off of the table so he was lying on rich's lap like a trashy blonde cat.

" makeup tutorial " mumbled rich, who was watching my chemical romance music videos on his iphone 8.

" i love it! " cheered david.

rob raised his hand. " why don't we do band promotional stuff? like videos and announcements. this is a band youtube channel, not a team 10 rip off. we should do something useful. "

" okay, " started david, red lips curled into a sneer. " that's the worst fucking idea anybody has ever had ever, INCLUDING ryuichi's idea to get a wife and not marry me. get the fuck out of my house "

-

" time for video number one. bottle flips " they set up rich's iphone 8 to record their choice video. steve set two water bottles on the table and stood on one side as mick stood on the other. on the count of three, they both took ahold of their bottle and started to flip.

" THIS BITCH FULL. YYYEET " screeched steve as his bottle performed a perfect flip, water sloshing around inside its plastic casing. it landed elegantly, not even stumbling. steve was so overjoyed by this stupendous bottle flip that he raised both arms in a victorious dab. but mick wasn't prepared to lose, so he flipped his bottle over to steve, knocking the buff boy onto the floor and then having the bottle land perfectly on his forehead. mick then performed a triple dab as he sang every verse of "it's everyday bro". then he whipped and nae naed.

"oh fuck yeah mick destroy him! " hollered david. rob gave a polite clap and rich just gave two thumbs up. video number one was complete. moving onto the prank video of a lifetime.

-

ryuichi was in his king-size bed, ready to get some sleep, when all of a sudden david motherfucking sylvian STRAIGHT UP CRASHED THROUGH HIS WINDOW, sending glass everywhere.

" jesus what the fuck david what do you WANT " yelled ryuichi. he was not thrilled by the creepy femme dude who was weirdly obsessed with him catapulting through the window.

"ryuichi dearest i have something rly important to tell you, i think we better sit down for this one. " so the duo sat down on ryuichis bed.

"what is it, david?" ryuichi was not prepared for the answer.

" baby i'm pregnant. and you're the father " david stared directly into ryuichi's eyes.

" WHHHHHAT THE FUCK DAVID. THATS ACTUALLY BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE, AND THAT'S IGNORING THE FACT THAT WE'VE LITERALLY NEVER HAD SEX-- "

all of a sudden, a voice came from ryuichi's broken window. " david hurry the fuck up im running out of space on my phone " said the voice that sounded suspiciously like rich, who was recording vertically on his iphone 8.

" OMFG richard the video needs to be over 10 minutes so we can put multiple ads and get more money. keep filming " whisper yelled david.

" wait what the fuck david "

" JUST A PRANK BRO " and then david fled out the window he smashed. ryuichi was SO making david pay damages for that damn window.

video number two? complete. the world had better have gotten ready for video three.

-

after much bickering between dave and rich, they settled on doing two makeup tutorials. one by david and one by rich.

dave insisted on doing his first like the dumbass diva he was, applying different shades of reddish brown to his eyes, along with mascara and light eyeliner. he, OF COURSE, added contour and bright red lipstick. it looked weirdly familiar to another celebrity, but nobody thought too much of it. this look made david look like a gremlin, but like a pretty gremlin

then was rich's, the cream of the crop. he applied white foundation and heavy black eyeshadow first. then he added lots of black eyeliner for that Iconique Goth Realness. he finished it off with black lipstick. richard was truely serving looks.

now it was time to upload all these sexy videos.

-

a few days later, the Boys™️ decided to check out their comments. first they looked at the comments on the makeup videos.

" is that dahvie vanity " commented pewdiepie on rich's emo tutorial.

" dahvie vanity is a BITCH compared to me " richard chipped away at his black nail polish.

on dave's tutorial, jake paul commented " is that nick rhodes " causing dave to go into a fit of rage.

" HE STOLE MY LOOK!!! HHYWGGGG " and he promptly threw their macbook out the window.

" well there goes our youtube career " sighed mick

fin

hey yall how do you like my story. if any members of japan the band are reading this i just want u 2 kno tht im sorry