What just happened? Everything I wanted to hear for soo many years,I've heard it and like this.I love Connor more than myself but I know that in this world,we can't.We have a past,like everyone else but ours haunts us.
My mind was blank.I was just runing trying to get to the car to go home and clear my head.After all,I'm going on tour in a couple of hours.A voice stopped me.
-Ann,please. - Connor cried.This was the first time I saw him cry since I lost the baby.
-How can you not understand that we can't be together?
-Why,Ann,why?We're meant for eachother,please,don't leave,please.
-I was mad when I came here,I wanted to come here and be with you and live like we did.But I saw that we couldn't.But know one thing.-I huged him tightly-I will never stop loving you.You have a special place in my heart,ok?Don't forget that ever,ok?You're always gonna be my Connor that took care of me,loved me,was my family.When you see me the next time,no matter how long has passed remember this.Remember to be my Connor,not the Connor you're pretending to be.Promise me. -
We couldn't stop crying.My tears were full of love and when I saw him crying,I lost it.I'm weak,I have to admit that I'm weak.You can't just press "delete" and expect everything to go away.You just can't.
-I have to go,I'm going on tour in a couple of hours.
-Good luck and always be my Ann,that is my world.And will always be.
I turned around to go to the door.Without my heart.My heart is still standing on the same spot infront of Connor.It will never leave,it'll just wait for me to come back.I felt like my world was crumbling down.I feard that if I look back, I would just die in the spot.Like death was after me.I have to go.I have to leave and come back 6 months later.Who knows maybe even longer.Step by step a little peace of me was dying.I finally knew everything I came here for.I have a strange felling that I'll never see him again.I'll never touch him,kiss him,hold him.I have to pull up a white flag and quit everything just so I can move on.When we started being together I felt like I have a family finally.Like I was loved,like I mattered for the first time in my life.And now,I have to erase everything because life isn't fair.I have no choise,even if we ever got together again It'll be in our house,that's waiting for us to come back.Everything is just waiting for us but we'll never come.Maybe one day,maybe never.In this second I turned my back not just on my first love,I turned my back on my world.The world that was first normal but reality interfered.I'll never forgive myself for doing this.Never.But I know that I have no other choise.Everything was waiting for me to go on tour.I just grabbed everything and went to the car.While I was getting in I saw Mike coming in.He just hugged me tightly and whispered "good luck".Even he doesn't deserve this.He's the best guy I've ever met.He deserves more,way more.In the car I saw houses pasing by,happy people,animals and I remembered the day I came.I was soo proud of myself for making it.For making a new life,not knowing that it'll have details from the past.I looked back one last time,it was like a voice calling me to come back.Someday,I hope.
P.S I'll update on friday too.Today was my last test so I'm exhausted but I wanted to update so here you go.Let me know if you like it :D
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If someone asks we're just friends(Connor Franta fanfic)
FanfictionWhen someone tells you not to do something,doesn't that make you want to do it more?
